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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884124">Rewrite the Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashtag_husky/pseuds/hashtag_husky'>hashtag_husky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bendemption, F/M, Feels, Reylo - Freeform, UST, continuing story, slowburn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:22:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashtag_husky/pseuds/hashtag_husky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(A Collaborative Story via a Roleplay by Jynna (Rey) and Miss Castle (Ben/Kylo)) This is a story of a man who found redemption in the eyes of a young woman strong in the force. A force that would tie them both together so that their intertwined destinies could one day Rewrite the Stars. (Rated M for later chapters)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a collaborate story originally done in roleplay format between a dear friend and myself. So you'll notice it switches from both Rey and Kylo/Ben's perspective. We hope you guys enjoy it as much as we both enjoyed writing it!! Please leave your comments below, they mean a lot to us!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo Ren (the newly titled Supreme Leader) had been able to get the highly gifted scavenger known as Rey to join him. It was by no means done so entirely willingly, for Ren had given her a choice- to accept his hand and offer of power or watch as he let his army destroy the rest of her friends, those Resistance scum! It was a bitter-sweet victory when she had caved and taken his gloved hand but he could sense the unease in her as she weighed her options and given in. Even though he had won one battle that day Kylo still felt like this war had a long way to go. But at least he had Rey, and he didn’t have to listen to his former master chide him for giving into his desires which he saw as a weakness. No, he would use Rey and with her and his power combined they would surely win this war.</p><p>Having given ample time to the newly acquired woman to get familiar with her surroundings, Ren now planned to go see her in the room he had given her. Thinking back on the last twenty-four hours, it had almost been too easy, all of it, from killing Snoke to getting the young force-sensitive woman to join him. Some of the pieces were a bit hard-pressed to fit into the whole story of course; blaming her for Snoke's death to prevent mutiny and basically giving Rey the ultimatum of either joining him or watching her Resistance friends die horribly was a bit of a stretch. Getting the rest of the Order to believe she could be trusted aboard the ship was the biggest hurtle, for now at least.</p><p>But what was he supposed to do next? For the first time in his life since he'd embraced the dark side of the force Kylo was without a master to direct him. And like a boat without a sail in the middle of a tossing ocean, the dark knight was struggling to keep from overturning. He had to be careful, that much he knew. As far as he was concerned, Rey was the second most powerful person aboard this ship, the only one capable of destroying him. He had to make sure he not only got her under control but gained her trust. Influencing people, like his past friends who were now his trusted Knights of Ren, hadn't been too difficult. But Kylo had never been too good with words and a lot of his influence over his loyal followers had been from his display of power and the promise of power of their own if they stayed true to him. But with Rey... well, what was it that she really desired? Power definitely wasn't something he saw her wishing for. Family though, family was something he had seen she desired desperately. So he had to work off that; and in order to do that, he would have to show her that she could have as much of a belonging here with him and the First Order as she did with those traitors she called friends before.</p><p>So, after much heavy meditation, Kylo had finally decided to depart from his sanctuary and head off to start his next mission. A few minutes and long strides later, Ren was at the door of Rey's room where two Stormtroopers were posted outside of. They said nothing to him as they stepped aside to allow him entrance. Keying in the code, the former Solo stepped inside, already forgetting his manners with not knocking nor having a proper greeting for the Jakku girl whom he at first did not notice. Fear gripped him suddenly that she might have discovered a way to escape the room but he knew that was impossible because the ventilation system was too small for her to squeeze thru (at least he thinks) and this door was the only way out unless she somehow could withstand the void of space and manage to flee out by the large, narrow window that the room provided her with.</p><p>He wore his usual attire, cloak and all, black from neck to toe, as was the formal attire. The only difference was that he had a dark crimson shoulder strap going across his chest which signified his new status as the Supreme One.</p><p>He wasn't sure if he should call out, but then he heard a noise coming from the lavatory and he realized that must have been where she was hidden. So he waited and strode across the small room and stood by the window, his hands clasping behind his back, trying to relax himself but to be sure, Kylo Ren was quite uncomfortable.</p><p>Rey didn't plan on letting emotions take charge of her actions. She didn't plan on betraying her friends and her people, yet it all had happened so quickly, yet it all had changed in the blink of an eye. She didn't want to accept his offer, but she knew that she didn't have much of a choice. What exactly had happened that day was nothing more than a faded blur in her mind buried deep underneath thoughts of hatred and doubt. From the death of Snoke, to taking Ren’s hand in the throne room. She hated herself for showing weakness, she hated him for how well he knew her.</p><p>Her gaze wandered around the white walls of the lavatory that was adjacent to the small room that the first order had provided her with. Ren had told her to make herself feel comfortable, but their understandings of comfort didn't quite seem to be very alike. She bent over the sink, hoping the shock of cold water would help her clear her mind for a bit. She had thought about trying to make an escape plan, but she knew that a wrong move could cost the resistance their lives. She had lost her family already. She couldn't risk losing the only thing she had left. She slowly felt the running water numbing her cheeks and for a hot second only, she felt like she was back on Jakku refreshing herself after a warm day out in the dunes.</p><p>Completely lost in her thoughts, she startled as she heard a sudden noise from her room. While it was most likely another one of the Stormtroopers checkups to make sure the young woman still didn't find a way out, Rey still flinched a little inside. She dried her face and her hands, pausing a moment to look at herself in the mirror, where she found a lost, frightened face staring back at her with disgust. She hated the large black Sith robe she was given to cover up most of her usual scavenger clothes, but if she wanted to be seen as an ally on board by the others, she was expected to at least try to fit in. Rey closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before she opened the lavatory and went back to her room.</p><p>"Ben." she gasped, surprised to find the supreme leader looking at her from the other side of the room. "I was beginning to wonder if you were planning to keep me locked up here forever." It had been a couple of days since she hesitantly agreed to join him in the first order, yet ever since then the only time she had seen him was through a force-bond they shared when they both were unable to sleep. </p><p>He almost smirked because the thought of keeping her locked up here longer crossed his mind. Mostly since he dreaded this moment here with her now, having to convince her to see things his way. Kylo had thought it would be much easier just to keep her locked away, where she could do him no harm, perhaps keep her sedated and preserved like an ornamental doll on display, a trophy of sorts. The brave wannabe Jedi from Jakku, last hope of the resistance. Now that it seemed Skywalker was too ashamed and afraid to play hero again in this story, there really was no other force-sensitive left with the former courage and spark that Rey held. A spark that was now currently doused, though it did still try to burn him.</p><p>"It was only for your benefit and protection." He told her, and that was mostly true of course. Many of the crew aboard the destroyer were displeased or confused about her presence here, especially Hux who ceased giving him the evil eye. Though that wasn't anything particularly new. The poor fool was still mourning the loss of the former Supreme Snoke, as if his past master would have cared for his sentiments. It was quietly satisfying the blaze haired idiot hadn't discovered the truth about his murder. Ren had made sure no tracks were left, having edited the throne room footage via the force and erasing the memories of any daft surveillance trooper that might have witnessed the scene. Honestly, sometimes Kylo was glad he had such idiotic henchmen at his disposal.</p><p>Rey could not help feeling a little intimidated by the fact that he she was alone with Kylo Ren in her quarters. She didn't like when he was hiding underneath what was nothing more than a costume, but at least he had stopped wearing his mask around her. She knew he did this to not only reflect a feeling of power, but also to hide his fears that he was so scared to admit. Just like Rey, Ben despised how much Rey knew about him just through their force bonds and yet the young woman still could not help but wonder why exactly they out of all shared such a strong bond.</p><p>"I appreciate your concern", Rey started to add in response "but i think you already know that i can take care of myself." She knew that Kylo wasn't naive enough to believe the two Stormtroopers outside her door could have stood a chance against her. Perhaps she wasn't strong enough to take down his whole fleet or himself, but she had quickly learned from experience that Stormtroopers surely weren't the brightest bulbs in the box. No one in their right mind would join the dark side of the force without hesitation and yet she had agreed to do exactly the same, because for the first time in her life, the brave girl from Jakku was too scared to run. Too scared of losing the only thing she had left.</p><p>Ren did not think him thinking she was better locked inside this room than out there where his army personnel might harass her meant he showed concern for her. That sounded a bit too much like caring and Kylo Ren did not care for anyone but himself. That was the way one took when one walked in the dark side of the force. He wanted to correct her but a part of him liked the idea that she thought he was sensitive enough to care for her wellbeing. If that meant her trusting him and eventually bowing to the darkness, he would allow it.</p><p>"I saw you struggling." Rey furtherly continued, voice lowered as she took a few steps towards him. "You're lost without your master." She had felt his tornness. She had felt that it wasn't too late. </p><p>Kylo felt his shoulders tense at Rey's words. Sometimes he hated that deplorable force bond of theirs. If only it worked one way to his benefit.</p><p>"On the contrary, my mind has become more open from Snoke's demise." He turned fully to her, trying to keep his face void of any emotion that might say other-wise. "You mistook my conflict as mourning. He was still my master after all. But his death was a necessary step in my training." As bizarre as this might sound to the inexperienced Rey, it was an inevitable thing, Snoke's murder by his hands. It only made him become more powerful in the dark side of the force. Like his grandfather's master before him who had killed Darth Plagueis to complete his training, Kylo Ren would now be able to embrace even more of the force's dark powers now that he could fly on his own. Perhaps the logic of an unhinged man, but it was logic none the less and Ren didn't expect Rey to fully grasp this, not while she was still so entrapped by the light.</p><p>Rey could barely understand his logic. So she tried again. "I can help you. Let me bring you home."</p><p>"This is my home, Rey, as it is now yours." He said, voice void of emotion as he wore a hidden mask before her. He couldn't let his weakness show to her again, not like it had a few times before. That would not aid in bringing her into the dark.</p><p>"My home will always be Jakku." Rey explained while raising her voice, even though the supreme leader already knew way too well where she was originally from. "I could show you sometime. I could show Ben." She pressed her lips together, as she moved another step closer towards him, almost invading his personal space as her hand met his for a split second before she took a step back. It was his attire that made him seem invulnerable, but she believed in the person who hid underneath. She had seen parts of Ben Solo through their force bonds and she knew he was unlike everything that Kylo Ren pretended to be.</p><p>“I've been to Jakku actually, too much sand and dust for my taste." He said, voice lit with a certain superiority that was now all but increased with his new role as the leader of the First Order. And indeed, he had stepped foot on Jakku, if only briefly, to cut down that old man who had sorely reminded him of his roots he shared with his enemies.</p><p>He was trying to ignore the fact she was still using his given name Ben in conversation. He couldn't let that get to him, he had to keep his cool. If he gave into his anger that would only make her dislike him more. She had not yet seen just how angry he could become, and in their last combatant face off he was holding back, mostly due to the fact he was so in awe of just how much more powerful she was than him. Not that he would ever admit that aloud. Or the part about him being so stricken by her. Force, he needed to get it together.</p><p>"Jakku is quite sandy indeed." The young woman agreed in surprise. She didn't expect the supreme leader to answer such trivial statement. "I'm sure there are much nicer places.", she added with a slight smile looking out of the window. She had dreamed about different planets. Dreamed about ocean, islands and mountains reaching high up in the sky. As much as she missed Jakku and the familiarity of the desert, she had slowly started to realize that there was more out there for her to explore. "It's astounding to think how much of the galaxy is probably still undiscovered", the young scavenger mumbled curiously, almost forgetting that this wasn't a chat between friends and that she indeed was still locked up in a room.</p><p>Kylo was a bit unnerved that they were having this brief conversation about the planets in the galaxy. It was such a simple, every-day thought to share that he almost forgot he knew how to have a normal conversation such as this. The look in Rey's eyes and that slight upturn of her lips made him stare and he wasn't sure what feeling was passing over him as he gazed at her silently but he did recognize longing in her words. She reminded Kylo of himself at a much younger age, memories of his mother showing him a holo-map of the galaxies and telling him to pick whatever place he wished to go for his tenth birthday. They were rich so travel was an easy commodity they could afford. And of course, being a natural pilot, Ren had that easily contagious travel bug in him from the days when Han Solo was simply a father letting his enthralled son take the controls of a precious vessel Kylo would never realize until later how scared his father was that he might dent or scratch it. Those were days long past, and better left buried in the sands of time. Thinking of how it used to be, before Snoke, before The First Order, before Kylo Ren. it was painful. And he didn't understand why.</p><p>"I can help you discover all the hidden worlds, visit each one if you'd like, if that's what you desire." Kylo wasn't even thinking of conquering and overthrowing these nameless planet's governments, only the thought of letting her see each one and how their wonders might put light into her eyes and a bigger smile onto her face for him to see. He was tempting her with this offer, even though he knew she could do it all on her own. She was a pilot too, he could sense it, and that made him desire her to be with him even more. They were so alike, yet, at the same time, galaxies apart in their own ideals. Maybe if he could narrow down their similarities he could get her to sway…</p><p>And for a brief moment their eyes met in silence. This time it felt different. This time it was him. He talked about how he would help her discover the planets and for the first time since she had been on this fleet, it felt like she was talking to Ben. "I would love to--", the scavenger started quietly, feeling uneasy as she noticed warm shivers running down on her spine. "Actually, I’d rather go alone.” She lied. She didn't want to reject his offer. She wanted to scream out loud how they could just leave right now. In a different world, it would have been easy. But this was reality. She sighed, hoping Ben would not feel her conflict. "I know I will do it sometime.", she added as she turned to the window. Where would they go? She wondered if Ben had any planets that he'd like to visit and under different circumstances she probably would have asked. She had felt the connection. It was real - and unlike most of their other bonding, it was not triggered by the force, but purely by them. Rey hated how easy it was for him to see through her mind. He knew her too well. Better than anyone else ever did, ever would. He almost broke her. She almost gave in. Silence filled the room for a minute. Rey turned around, feeling uneasy as she locked eyes with her opponent again. It was not Kylo Ren or the thought of losing her friends that she was afraid of. It was herself. Scared to the bone of her own unfamiliar thoughts. Thoughts of the two of them being together. Being happy. Being themselves.</p><p>For just that brief moment into conversation Ben Solo broke onto the surface as she started voicing her desire. That word, love, had been so vacant for so long inside Kylo's head that hearing it upon another person's lips, even toward themselves, was enough to shake him out of his dark haze and make his ears perk and emotions churn. Good emotions, the kind Ben Solo used to be good at portraying, to his friends, to his family, but now whose same were locked away tight behind the monster in the cage. And just when one of those emotions was about to sneak by the beast, Rey had gone and finished her words in isolation. He was a fool to think she would want to do anything with him, much less travel the galaxies, much less train as his apprentice, and a million other things he could picture them doing together. So just like that the creature in his chest slashed down the hope, the dream, the longing of a different life with the woman next to him and he was back to square one.</p><p>"No more of this talk. Also, I'd appreciate it if you'd refer to me as Master from now on or simply Kylo." He moved on quickly, finding himself easing up as he grew more in confidence around her. Giving orders did that to him. "Have you had a sufficient amount of time to rest and rejuvenate?" He figured he might as well be polite about it and not simply order her to start her training with him. She probably wasn't expecting him to make her his apprentice so fast (and not like she had entirely agreed to it either) but Kylo was an impatient man and the sooner she could start learning the ways of the force from his perspective the sooner she might find herself starting to adapt to it and even (force!) like it.</p><p>Thrown off by his sudden confidence and change of speech, she raised her right eyebrow and unconsciously took another step to the side. "Master?", she frowned clearly a little amused. She could tell that Ren was getting tired of the young scavenger trying to tear down his walls. He asked for authority. Thrived to be seen exactly the way that he saw himself. "There's no need to pretend. Not with me. We can end this right now." She realized that by disobeying Ren’s orders she potentially planted the seed for her death wish, but letting go had never been one of Rey’s strong suits.</p><p>Like an offended child whose idea had been struck down flat, Ben frowned at the lit her voice. Was she not taking him seriously right now? Didn't she know the rules now that she was here? His eyes narrowed as she spoke once more and he tried to keep himself from clenching his fists as he watched her step back, not sure what to do with himself as she entered in and out of his personal space. He wasn't used to people standing so close to him like that.</p><p>"Do you think this is some sort of game?" He asked lowly, finally finding his anger starting to bubble up and his impatience wearing dangerously thin. Her questions, though he had no absolute answer at the moment and probably not one she would even accept because she was so damn blinded by the light it was insufferable. How could he make her understand? </p><p>Rey could tell that Ren was slowly getting fed up with her ways. She knew he hated when she called him by his first name. She knew he hated when she saw right through his mask. "I'm serious", the young woman spoke up. "I saw you. I saw your future. I saw Ben Solo turning back to the light." A weary sigh escaped from her lips. "I can feel it. It is not too late for you to return." It must have looked kind of pathetic. The way the stood in front of the leader. Begging him to return to his home. "Come with me.", she offered again, nervously biting down on her lip. She hated how much she cared for this monster. She hated their incomparable bond through the force and above all of that she hated that no matter how hard she would try; she knew that he would never give in. A narcissistic man caught up in the darkness. A lone wolf too lost in his mind, too proud to rebound.</p><p>And here she was again playing the typical Light Side attempting to draw him back to his former self. She really was a foolish girl. Yet why was he so drawn to her? Even before the bond, it was like he had known her before they had even met. As if from a dream or vision. He hated the weakness she saw in him and it was like whatever kind of defense he tried to put in place she easily tore down. No one, not even Luke, was strong enough to do that. All he felt toward the people he had once loved, like Han Solo, his mother, Luke... it all was a churning hatred inside him now. But Rey, she seemed to know just what to say to make the dark part of him try and break away. But he couldn't let her do that, the darkness was his shield, his friend. It was the only thing he had, and she was one hundred percent right when she said that was all he had left. He hated the mind tricks she could use on him without even seeming to try!</p><p>"Tell me, Ben. Why am i here? What do you want from me?" She sighed, not waiting for him to answer her hope but finally giving in by asking the one question that she knew he was probably waiting to hear. "Show me what it is that so strongly draws you to the dark side of the force." She wondered why someone like him craved power so badly and what exactly about the dark side had made a man so hungry for strength. She didn't know much about the dark ways of the force and even though she mainly had asked in order to buy some more time for herself and her friends, she had to admit that she was a little bit curious about the answer herself.</p><p>"Your and my destinies are connected. Otherwise the force wouldn't have opened this bond we share. You were meant to work alongside me Rey." He began to explain, trying to will himself to be calm as he let his hands gesture out to the galaxies as he added this: "You think I'm on the wrong side, the bad side. But you're wrong. There is no right, no wrong, only power. And whoever holds it, like us, are the ones who control the way of things. There will always be those who oppose those with that power and sometimes we have to make hard decisions to keep control, to keep order- I want you to help me keep that order, that balance, to extend our wills to all the galaxies until there is absolute peace and order." Kylo was so set on this idea, this ideal world in his mind which could never be truly achieved with the way he and his army went about it. Making people choose to have order and peace was like trying to tame the tossing sea, to stop the moons from turning the tides. But that couldn't happen without destruction, but the dark lord was so blinded by this goal that he didn't see that his idea of order and peace was more harmful than good. But truly, how could a man see such a thing when good and bad didn't exist in his own eyes?</p><p>"It's over, Ren.", Rey countered confidently, feeling anger and hate rising up in her chest. She couldn't believe Kylo’s conceited perspective. Couldn't quite understand what exactly had made the son of Han Solo desire such despicable power that much. "You're alone in this fight. The resistance will not surrender. And neither will I."</p><p>Kylo replied by smirking, loving that he was making her feel hate for him. Liking she was finally unleashing some of that pent of anger of hers. It would only make her grow more powerful.</p><p>"You think you are strong for running, but you're weak for hiding from your true self. You're a weak man." Her voice started to become louder as she called the supreme leader out on his act. "You're striving for power because it is all you have left. You abandoned your family. You ran away from your home. You killed your own father." Their gazes locked for a moment. Rey started to notice fury and outrage in his eyes. "You will never be strong enough to fight the resistance." She felt her teeth clenching as she moved a couple of steps closer towards him, quietly using the force to pick up her saber which was lying on other side of the room.</p><p>Then she was lashing out in anger, an anger he wished for her to embrace despite it being bad (as it was now) for him to behold since it was directed at himself. But her words, how they bit, just how they bit before in that small interrogation room when she had resisted his mind probing and seen inside his mind, his heart. She knew he desired to finish the work his grandfather, the infamous Darth Vader, had begun, how he wished to be like him, but how he was afraid that might never become reality because he was still clinging onto that damn part of him that clung to the light. Left in a battle between two parts of himself, Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, locked inside an arm-wrestling match with no clear winner. Rey and his former master, were the only ones who saw his conflict, saw his struggling, and while he hated his master for knowing his secret (perhaps why he ended up killing him, a lesser reason than the fact he was going to make him kill Rey), but toward Rey he only felt raw vulnerability, but he pushed down the lost and scared boy who was so desperately crying out for help. How weak he was! But he would not let her save him, she would not, and no one could, he was much far too gone for salvation.</p><p>"Enough!" Kylo couldn't hold back his anger, face contorted in a slight snarl as he sensed what she was trying to do- get to her saber - and shot his own hand out, using all his rage and emotion to draw her arms back, like cuffs he willed them together behind her, stopping the saber from reaching her grip. A part of him was offended she would try and pick a fight when she had already agreed to side with him, if only for her Resistance scum friends, but then another part of him was glad she was working off her own emotions, lashing out in an uncontrollable anger that he had caused. Well, well, she might have some darkness there to manipulate after all...</p><p>"You’re not very good at making friends, Ben". she said as she suddenly felt the force on her hands. He had stopped her from getting her saber. Holding it firmly in his own hands instead. "You're a fool for believing that threatening to harm my family is going to change my mind." She frowned. "You're scared. Aren't you?" She asked without even needing an answer. "You're drowning in your own thoughts." But so was she. Two lost souls in the galaxy. So similar and yet so very different at the same time.</p><p>"Oh they're your family now?" Ren said, quietly mocking as he scoffed, holding her still. "Don't you remember that your family abandoned you? And what makes you think these people won't do the same thing?" He tried to sway her loyalty to them but he knew just how powerful the rebels grip on the girl went. As he used to buy into their ways. But he had to make her see the truth, they were only using her and once they were done getting back the power they so desired they would toss her away like used goods. "You can have a family here Rey." He spoke once more, tempting her, his voice smooth as ice as he let his anger melt away to something less but more, something tempting. "You're scared to let go of what you've always known. I know the feeling; I was once like you." He continued before releasing her arms from his force lock.</p><p>"Ben Solo is the weak one. He would never have amounted to anything if he stayed back with his so-called family." He remained holding her still, his power growing as his rage unfolded. "They mean nothing to me now. I don't want to go back. So you might as well stop wasting your breath." He let go of her then, turning swiftly to grab up the blue saber that had made it half-way to them, gripping it hard in his gloved hands, wishing he could destroy it but it was his grandfather's and he couldn't bring himself to do it.</p><p>"And your precious Resistance is only still alive as long as you remain here and do what I say." He was done trying to be cordial about things, he needed her to stop resisting and start doing what he liked for a change. Or else, she would see just exactly how powerful he and his fleet was. He turned back to her then, face still strained but less angry as he offered the light saber to her. He knew it was a risky move, and how she could just as well strike him down but he needed her trust. As gilded as it was. She had to know he still had some sort of faith in her, in order to be able to completely earn her loyalty.</p><p>"I wasn't planning to fight you." Rey said as she walked back up to Ren. "I couldn't control it." And indeed, the girl spoke the truth. Rey didn't plan on attacking Kylo. Just like she did not plan to stay here. The force worked in strange ways and Rey knew she had a lot left to learn. "I was angry. I couldn't handle my thoughts. I know you know what that feels like." she gasped as she found herself looking into his dark acorn eyes. "We could learn how to fight it together."</p><p>"That's the first step, letting your emotions guide you." He told her quietly, stepping a little bit closer, letting himself for once get into her space. "Like from the forest... remember the power you felt when you let all your anger be released? You can feel that power again, Rey." He brought a hand up, ghosting it along the edge of her hair before stepping back, as if burned before lowering his gaze, staring off into a far off place as he murmured these final words. "One more day. Then your real training will begin." And with that, he turned away and silently left her, hoping her thoughts would be of him until the time which he came back for her. And he would. Always.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Rey and Ren train for the first time together.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize in advance if some of this flows awkwardly, again, this is taken from a roleplay. I tried to keep both original author's writing in tact. Hope you enjoy this second chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo had slept well, confidence outgrowing the fear in his mind of how he would get Rey's full loyalties. So when he had come to fetch her from her room he had said little, only gesturing for her to change into the new training clothes he had had sown for her. It was nothing remarkable, but the material was stretchy and it offered something similar to the Jakku girl's previous rag attire, and quite frankly was very much styled after that style but only blacked out now. He figured it would make her like wearing it more, but even if she did not, at least she would be comfortable during their first training session.</p><p>On the other hand, Rey had not gotten much sleep. Maybe two to three hours at most. She had tried hard to fight the circle of thoughts that kept her awake, kept resisting the urge to just try and flee.</p><p>Ever since Ren had left her room the previous night, Rey had wondered what she was still doing here and perhaps also why no one came to search for her yet. They wouldn't possibly let her be stuck here forever. They were her friends. They considered her family. They would eventually come and get her. She hoped.</p><p>Walking with her a little way behind him, Kylo was dressed in his tunic and pants, no robe, as to move around better which he planned to lose soon anyway when they were in the training area. He had made her leave her light saber behind, just in case she got too carried away and decided to kill some of his guards. He got to keep his own because well, he didn't want to take the risk of anything happening and him not being well defended. Plus, he was the Supreme Leader, he got that right.</p><p>Rey was dressed in the black attire that Kylo had created for her, she quietly followed the leader, feeling uneasy as they passed various of his troops. She wasn't sure what to expect from this training and what he would even teach her, but for what it was worth, she had always been one who thrived on learning new things. "I don't think it's fair that you get to keep your saber", she frowned and turned around towards him. Sure she knew how to defend herself with help of the force in a worst case scenario, not having her saber at all however still was a different story. "I'd feel better, if i could go and get mine" She stated again, knowing there was no point in directly asking for it.</p><p>Ren could sense the uneasiness in Rey, even before they began down the walk down to the training area. She was tired which allowed him easier access to her mind where he sensed she was afraid. Doubtful even, that her friends, her so-called family, were going to even come and rescue her. They would be foolish to do so, so they were either very wise or had already figured Rey had done what Kylo was hoping they would think she did, turn on them and allege her loyalties to someone else. The thought made the dark haired man smirk, selfishly hoping his mother was saddened that her new daughter had betrayed her so quickly.</p><p>Rey hated how easy it was for Ren to access her mind. She felt it, she knew that he read her thoughts. "Stop it", she almost screamed, starting to use the force to resist him, this time however he was stronger than her. She was too weak at this moment to stop him. He saw that and took his chance. He saw how afraid she was that no one would come and get her. He knew how much she hoped that her new found family would want her back. "They will come.", she added this time out loud. "They will come and will destroy you and the first order. Nothing of this will be left." Her voice sounded confident, more confident than she actually was. </p><p>"Nobody's coming for you Rey. Seems to be a recurring situation in your life, hm?" Kylo knew that was a low blow to her but he had a purpose for it. He wanted to get her emotions worked up, to see just how much he could get out of her, how much true potential lay within. But most of all, how much darkness he could gauge she had that he could use to make her into a true being of power.</p><p>"You still have a choice, Ben." She sighed, as he tried to compliment her. For once she didn't know what to say. She knew there was no point in asking for her saber again. She knew he would not change his mind and deep down, she hoped he was right that she would be able to defend herself without it, if it would come to a worst case scenario.</p><p>"You still have one to make too." He countered, swinging his arms as he continued to warm up in preparation. If he could get any of that fire from Rey like from the forest out, he would have to be extra prepared to defend himself. But he was ready for her now, he would not underestimate her again.</p><p>But when she mentioned her name, his mother's, he felt his jaw clench. A wave of jealousy overtook him as he turned from her and used the force to roughly bring two plastic training sabers toward him and Rey. He caught his own and hoped Rey was fast enough to catch her own, but if she didn't well then maybe she would realize it was better off not to mention his mother's name in his presence.</p><p> </p><p>At Rey's words Kylo only shook his head before gesturing to the supply of less lethal weaponry. "I'm sure you can find other suitable substitutions while here. And with your skill, I’m sure you could be lethal without a true saber." He said, offering her a compliment which he hoped would lessen her defiance and unease. He wanted her to be relaxed in his presence, and, as he walked in without her, sensing her hesitation, he beckoned the guards to go back to their hidden posts so as to make her feel less intimidated.</p><p>As they passed various troopers and officers he could feel them staring and he ignored them all. Let them wonder about Rey, let them assume the worst of her. He didn't care. They would soon learn to respect her just as much as him, though they already seemed to fear her as far as he could sense.</p><p>Once they arrived at the door to the training room, Kylo turned to Rey, face composed yet not quite relaxed, as he put his hands on the door controls. "Welcome to the training room." He announced, opening the doors which revealed a large, dark-walled room with a large flat area in the middle with markings in various areas. To the right was a weapons cache with wooden saber swords and a few other things he would later explain that would aid in her force ability training. High above them was a cat walk where a guard or two was posted, walking about, but other-wise there was only themselves in the room. He waited to see if she would enter, expecting her cooperation but he could sense the defiance in Rey and it was both aggravating and amusing to him. He would show her just how defiant he could be as well to her own resistance.</p><p>Nervously, her gaze wandered through the opening of the door. A cold shiver suddenly ran down on her spine. "That doesn't look very inviting." She noted as she stood still while Kylo was waiting for her to enter the room. She wasn't used to train surrounded by so many dark walls. She preferred being outside, feeling the fresh air and breeze on her skin.</p><p>"You'll soon get used to it." Kylo intoned, shrugging his shoulders as he went through his usual start-up ritual before a training session. If he were being honest with himself he was rather nervous. He had never had an apprentice before, or well, not a true one in the sense of what he wanted Rey to be. He had his Knights, but they had grown up with him and had been more companions in arms who he considered weaker but still able-bodied he worked with, not trained. Snoke had always been the Master and him the Apprentice, but now he had to fill a different pair of shoes. Force knows it would be easier with a more willing Apprentice...</p><p>"Have you had prior training? Did Skywalker introduce you to his Jedi rort before you left his hiding place?" He scoffed quietly under his breath as he turned to her now, placing his hands upon his hips as he waited patiently for Rey to come further into the arena.</p><p>"Luke gave me excellent training." Rey answered defending her friend. Now surely they didn't train much and surely her training hadn't been as complex as jedis that started when they were young, but she knew that Ren was very well aware of this fact. "Luke and Leia trained me very well.", she continued, making sure to mention his mother as well. "They are good people. Excellent masters." She said as she walked into the training room, locking eyes with Kylo for a quick second, before she moved a few steps to the side. "So what exactly is it, that you want to teach me?", she asked, still feeling slightly uncomfortable. Feeling torn. She didn't want to do this. Not even a bit. But she knew, she had no other choice. She knew, that somehow her opponent was right. There was something about the dark side of the force, that intrigued her. Something about it that was inside her. A feeling, that she couldn't yet name.</p><p>Ren was enjoying the control he had over the young scavenger. It was nice when the bond worked in his favor for a change. Though he didn't understand it, how or why they were connected in this way (and less sure he wanted to believe his own late master had been the one to bridge their minds), the former Jedi was ready to explore it now that he had Rey here on his side. As shaky as her allegiance was at the moment, Ren was confident that he would turn her fully. Just as he had seen when they touched hands, her future lay with him and he knew that meant she would be there to help him take over the rest of the galaxy.</p><p>"Training is more than sitting meditation and floating rocks around your head." Ren began, his voice firm and concise as he took on his master persona. He wanted to talk to Rey as his apprentice but not so much that she felt like he was belittling her. He didn't want to make the mistakes his master had. He would be a firm yet fair mentor to her and he would make her see that he saw her more an equal than a lesser soul he could order about. She wasn't like his staff in the First Order, not like Hux or an officer he could simply tell and expect things to be done. She was an individual and she was special. Oh she was, and he wanted her to trust him above all so that in turn, she could put her faith in him. That was how he would get her to fully be on his side. This would work, Ren was convinced, if only he could make her see how much better she was when she was with him, discovering her inner potential through the dark side of the force.</p><p>"Your emotions. Use them. Embrace them. All that anger, that sadness you felt for the life you've had to lead due to your parent's abandonment- concentrate on it as you prepare to attack." Ren faced her now, dropping into a defensive pose as he let the play weapon in his hand come to eye-level as he waited for her to begin the session. "Now." He ordered, gripping his saber calmly yet readily as he waited for her first move.</p><p>She hated how easy it was for him to break her. He knew just what to say to release her deepest emotions and anger. To trigger her sadness, her deepest wishes and all her lonely feelings within. Two similar souls, yet galaxies from each other apart. They both cracked at the mention of their family members. They both had nobody. They both were alone. The scavenger closed her eyes for a second, holding back tears as he reminded her of her past. Maybe he was right. Maybe no one was coming for her. "You know nothing.", she whispered quietly, as she opened her eyes but turned her head away from the leader. She didn't want Ren to see her crying again. Didn't want him to see her being weak and vulnerable, even though she knew, that it was just what he wanted. He won and even though she should have felt hatred for him, she hated herself. She hated herself for allowing him to see through her mind, for getting so close once again and channeling her emotions, like nobody had ever before.</p><p>She took a deep breath, as she turned back around and felt the tears running down on her cheeks. There was no more hiding. He got what he wanted and now it was time for her to fight back. She wouldn't let Kylo Ren destroy her, and even though she was currently hurting, she found comfort in knowing that he was hurting hearing her words as well. "You say all of those things...", she started, ignoring him mentioning that she as well should make a choice "...as if you're not broken yourself." Her voice now sounded calmer, her emotions however were still running wild. She wasn't used to being this emotionally close to someone and every time he entered her mind space, it was the same strange feeling over and over again. Why were they connected? And why in such strong and unbreakable way?</p><p>Being caught up in her feelings, she almost did not notice the training saber that suddenly came flying her way. Only in the last second before it hit her, she quickly had grabbed it, letting out a deep sigh of relief. She definitely wasn't prepared. She needed a minute, but she knew she did not need to ask. Her being in this exact state, is just what Ren wanted. What he needed in order for her, to embrace her emotions and unfortunately deep down she knew he was right.</p><p>As Ren changed his tone of voice, Rey tried to focus, still being distracted by her own thoughts however, wasn't much of a help. "I got this", the young woman whispered quietly to herself, locking eyes with Ren once again, this time not escaping his gaze but instead preparing herself for his next move, as he once again mentioned her parents and waited for her emotions to show, as he was ready for her to attack.</p><p>With a few quick steps forward, Rey attacked him just like he wanted, feeling the emotions inside her and noticing her anger build up.</p><p>Ren let a small, yet sad smirk run across his face as he watched and heard Rey whisper infront of him. you know nothing Her words were in self-defense and held little truth. Though Kylo liked having this control over how she felt, how she could feel the same kind of emotions he secretly fought with every sleepless night, there was little satisfaction as he noticed the young woman turn her face away to hide her tears. He felt the small gut-wrenching sensation of guilt enter inside his throat as he looked away only to sate his own embarrassment. A part of him didn't want to see her hurt like this but he knew this trial she faced would only work to make her stronger in the end. But that didn't mean he liked the journey through that valley. But it was also a small comfort to know that she was hurting for a few of the same reasons he was, feeling as if her own relatives didn't care, couldn't understand the sadness they felt which they had caused. From Han Solo to Skywalker, young Ben Solo had felt abandonment and rejection during those important periods of his life. His father hadn't been there during his Jedi trials when he retrieved his cyber crystal, his mother had, in part, over a short holotape message telling him she couldn't make his graduation from Padawan to Knight because she was busy on delegation. Han couldn't even be bothered to leave a message with an excuse. That was when he sensed his parent's marriage falling apart. And then Luke, his lack of faith when he sensed the power within Ben that he feared would corrupt him (which maybe it did but perhaps it wouldn't have if Skywalker had allowed himself to ask questions instead of proceed to act on his uncertainty about young Ben). Either way one rolled the golden dice, Kylo had been hurt by those who were once close to him, betrayed even, and here Rey was in the same situation. Burdened by grief, anger and this guilt she couldn't explain. What had she done to deserve the way her parents threw her away? What had Ben Solo done to receive a similar fate?</p><p>Kylo did not answer her proceeding words, choosing to ignore them as he often chose. It was easier to remain ignorant of what he knew was true. He was broken. More-so was he ever since he struck down Han Solo, hoping that might end the suffering and battle inside his head. But it didn't. His master had promised him that he would be able to totally rely on the darkness after he cut his ties with his greatest weakness, but Snoke had been wrong. But just how many things had Snoke been mistaken about? Maybe that was another reason Kylo killed him, afraid he would be sent down another wrong path that would only lead him to more pain and regret. But he couldn't focus on the past, couldn't speculate about things he can't change- he could only use his emotions now from those experiences to make himself stronger, as he was now teaching Rey to do. But getting her to let go of the past, to bury it while also being able to harness it, that was going to be the difficult task at hand. And then the fact she thought she could still save him, bring Ben Solo back to the light; that would have to be doused as well.</p><p>Watching as she prepared herself, seeing Rey gather her strength and thoughts as she held the training saber. He waited with eager breath before sensing her movement before even seeing her start toward him. Their connection seemed to crackle like lightning as he felt her hatred and sadness collide as she faced him. He was ready for her as he met her blow for blow, staying on the defensive as he dodged and parried her hits. The dark prince could feel the energy between them expanding as he channeled his own darkness, swinging wide as he slashed toward her feet before he felt their fake blades connect and stall, pushing against her, feeling their matched strengths as the force held them together in a locked struggle.</p><p>"You're afraid of letting go of what grounds you to the light because you don't want to believe that you might find yourself liking what I have." Ren's voice was slightly strained from the effort but strong and light, almost tempting even. "It only takes one taste Rey. Why are you resisting it?" His curiosity piqued as he tried to understand why it was so hard to get her (a young susceptible force sensitive) to fall into the darkness. At her age it had been so natural, so easy. What made Rey different? She had nothing, no one, to base her connection to the light with. She had grown up around so much darkness, yet she was still clinging onto hope. Didn't she realize there was no hope left? Hope was fruitless, it didn't exist, only power, only giving into the basest urges of one's heart, one's mind... he could turn her. Come hell or high water, Kylo Ren would turn this stubborn woman.</p><p>Kylo was quick and experienced in the way that he fought. She had noticed that previous times they had battled, this time however, she had more time to observe, since this was just training and according to him she was there to learn. While Rey mostly improvised her hits and her moves, it almost seemed like he knew exactly when to hit where. His movements just flowed in perfect order. It almost looked graceful and she knew, it was because of all the training he had previously had. He was a Jedi once. He knew the light and the dark side. She knew, that he was much stronger, more trained and more skilled than her. He was right, when he said she was no one. She was just a girl with a saber. Just Rey, not understanding why the supreme leader wanted her to join him in the first order so much.</p><p>After a few exchanges of hits, their fake blades connected and stalled. Pushing against each other, locked through the force and their bond. She felt their energy and their connection. Wondering once again, what it was, that connected them in such a strong and powerful way. With their fake blades still locked together, Rey now looked up to Ren, listening to his words, as a shiver ran down on her spine. The truth he spoke, felt like a pinch in her heart. He was right, she was afraid of letting go of her past. Afraid of letting go of her new family and friends. Afraid of the unknown, that yet at the same time seemed so familiar to her. What was it about the dark side, that secretly hid inside her? Why did she see it in visions and why did it suddenly feel almost natural now that she was training with him? She had seen herself on the dark side in dreams and in visions. Saw herself on the throne next to Kylo. A thought that had scared her. A vision she had never shared with anybody. Dark thoughts, hidden in the very back of her mind. Unknown and unplacable feelings that probably not even Kylo knew of. She had questions, but she knew no one had answers. All she was sure of was that she wouldn't give in. She wouldn't surrender to Kylo Ren and the dark side. She had chosen her path. She had made her choice. "I will never join you on the dark side", Rey said with a slightly cracked voice, still feeling their shared bond through the force. "You can't change who i am." (not that she had any idea who she actually was) She felt her emotions rising, as she concentrated hard to try to break their connection, leashing out anger, strong enough to unlock their sabers. Strong enough to push the supreme leader on the floor with her mind. Shocked and suddenly afraid of her power, the woman took a step back, preparing herself to defend, in case he would now release his anger on her. She didn't plan to attack him. She couldn't control it. It just simply happened and once again she was scared of herself. Emotions, that she had yet to learn to control. Power, that she didn't even know existed in her.</p><p>Kylo stared her down, as if the pressure of his gaze would be enough to change her mind. His brows furrowed, slightly taken about and very much nettled with her determined defiance. What more could he offer her? Didn't she know she could have everything with him? The belonging she sought, power, never wanting for food or comforts or shelter. But she still chose to take the side of those traitors and thieves. Was Kylo missing something here? Or was his task simply an impossible one?</p><p>Before the older male could process how to respond to her words he felt the current shift and himself being thrown backwards onto his side and pushed against the cold floor. It didn't hurt as much as wind him, his saber flying out of his hand simultaneously. He hadn't expected to be so easily put off guard and placed in a vulnerable place of attack by her so soon. But then again, this hadn't been the first time the skilled scavenger had thrown him down onto his rump. He was only thankful this wasn't a real battle with real sabers or else she might have had little trouble scaring the other side of his face.</p><p>But he couldn't feel anger or embarrassment towards her, but only the same thoughts from the forest so many moons ago. That power and spirit in her, which she so readily used against him with almost little effort. But this time it was different, she hadn't channeled the light this time, but she had awoken a part of her powers through the emotions he had coaxed out of her to use. Kylo could only feel a thrill as he gazed up at her, propped up on his elbows, completely in awe and approval.</p><p> </p><p>To Reys surprise, Ren did not seem upset, as he was thrown to the ground. In fact, it seemed like he almost enjoyed it. She noticed the look of awe in his eyes. He stared at her with approval. Was probably proud that things finally went his way once.</p><p>As Kylo got himself up, she as well felt the strong pull of their bond. They had both felt it so often, through force bonds and every time they had met, yet each time it seemed to grow stronger and no matter how hard Rey had tried to resist, their bond was one thing, neither of them could escape. It was always there. Almost like a shadow. It haunted her, but she knew it also had haunted him. She had felt it, when they were planets apart. She had felt it, when they were in different rooms on this ship. It just was a whole galaxy stronger, when they were only inches apart.</p><p>"You can deny the pull all you want..." Ren began, his body bending forward and coming back to stand a few feet from her now. "...but it seems you have already unlocked some of the power you seek to resist, already within." His voiced showed slight pride as he walked slowly towards her, feeling the pull of their bond as he got closer. "How did it feel?" He asked her, simply curious, as his gaze trailed along her face, watching her closely like a cat about to devour a mouse before stopping just before getting into her space, his hands at his sides, face slack and lips slightly parted as he waited for her response.</p><p>"How did it feel?", she repeated his voice with a frown. "Horrible. I didn't mean to do that. It just. Happened.", she said taking a step backwards as the supreme leader moved closer to her. What did the Dark Lord expect her to say? Expect her to do? Giving into the darkness, simply because he was right about channeling her inner emotions? He couldn't possibly be that naive of a man. She wanted to tell him that she was scared, afraid of herself, but she stopped, simply holding tightly onto her training saber again. She didn't need to tell him how she had felt. She knew he already knew. "I couldn't control it, i just completely lost track of my mind." She sighed, taking another step backwards, intimidated by the power of the dark side of the force, intimidated by the force of their bond. "I don't want this to happen again.", she said quietly but loud enough for Kylo to hear. "How could one possibly enjoy all this power?", she asked him, even though she already knew the answer. It wasn't necessarily the pure power that Kylo enjoyed. It was the simple fact, that it was all he had left. "My time here is over. I need to go home and train with Leia.", she added confidently and let go of her saber, which dropped to the floor. She maybe did not have an escape plan at this very moment, but after what had just happened, she was sure she could bypass his Troops somehow.</p><p>Kylo pursed his lips briefly as he listened to her words. An ebb of annoyance struck him. Didn't she get it? Nothing was an accident and now Ren was wondering just who exactly he was dealing with here. There was no way Rey was this attune to the dark side powers without having some sort of lineage to someone of that measure as well. Just who was she? Was she just simply the Nobody he had previously thought her to be? But nobody was nobody, if truth be told. Everyone had roots, even those whose roots were hidden well away.</p><p>"Nothing just happens. There is always a reason." Kylo declared, shaking his head slightly as he felt the pressure of her training come over him. As unwilling as she seemed to be, he could still sense the doubt in her, she was wondering just as much as him why she was so easily drawn to the dark. And then... there was something else. Something she wasn't letting him see thru their bond. "There's something more..." Ren said softly, eyes scanning over her, as if he could dissect her mind. "You've seen something else... haven't you?" Kylo began to step toward her, to bring his hand up to her mind as before as if he could take what he wanted to know from her. But just as he started his pursuit the hiss of the blast doors opening brought him back to the present reality.</p><p>"Ren- Supreme Leader, there has been a message heard across the galaxy we just intercepted. It requires your immediate attention." The voice of none other than Hux Armitage came annoying close as the red-haired man walked briskly toward them both. His gaze briefly looked over Rey with apparent disgust. That and the fact the man had rudely interrupted his private training session with his apprentice made Ren alone quite angry and nettled with the man.</p><p>Rey didn't need to read Kylos Mind, to feel his annoyance. It was obvious, that he was bothered by her resistance. Just the way Rey was bothered by his. Without any warning, Ren had suddenly moved even closer. Entered her personal space, trying to get through to her mind, as he placed his hands near her head. She knew she now needed to focus. Couldn't possibly let him get into the depth of her thoughts. He already knew too much about her. More than anyone else ever did.  A gods sent in that moment, Hux’s appearance. Something Rey never had thought she would think of the strange ginger haired man. Distracted by the Generals presence, Ren had let go of the force. He clearly did not enjoy Hux disturbance Rey however was glad she had a short moment to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>As he noticed Hux begin to say something more he held up one finger toward his face, his eyes dangerous as he made his voice authoritative before speaking this. "I don't care if God himself is speaking over the galaxy com, you don't interrupt me when I'm in a private training session with my apprentice." His voice ended on a growl before his gaze traveled to Rey's gaze. "We'll continue later." He said to her, cool and cold to let her know he wasn't happy with her earlier words and that he wasn't done with their conversation. "Escort her back to her quarters." He snapped to Hux who looked quite offended that he, a superior officer, was being given such a degrading task.</p><p>"Me?!" Hux could barely get out the word as his breath hitched in his throat and Ren had him by the throat via the force, not even having to raise his hand to do it he was so intoxicated with his anger to enable it quickly.</p><p>"Yes. You." Ren said with finality before walking off, his gaze pointedly ignoring Rey as he walked toward the deck, leaving Hux still gasping for breath until the doors shut firmly behind him, leaving Rey in the hands of the puny man.</p><p>For a couple of quick seconds only, Rey had just silently stood there. Watching the anger in Ren towards his general unfold. He snapped at him and asked him, to escort her back to her quarters. Something that in this very moment, was much more to her liking, than anything else she had heard him say in the past couple of minutes. Much more to her preference than continuing the training session with Ren. She couldn't risk potentially leashing out more unintentional anger. Couldn't risk Ren digging deep in her mind. Without saying a word, Rey nodded in agreement. Already thinking of various escape plans through the ship in her head. With only hux by her side, the thought of escaping suddenly seemed almost too easy. She knew she could take out the general for a moment by simply using the force.</p><p>Distracted by her own thoughts and plans, the young woman did not notice Ren’s sudden move full of anger until she heard Hux loudly gasping for air. She had never seen this much of Kylo Ren’s power. He had the general in a chokehold, simply via using the force. Was this what he was like, when he channeled his true dark side emotions? And if it was, Rey suddenly was even more scared of - not him, but herself.</p><p>After another snarky exchange of words with the general, Kylo had left the room. He had ignored Rey, as he walked confidently towards the deck, leaving Rey alone with the still breath-catching Hux, who, compared to her, didn't seem very pleased about his assigned task.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We really appreciate feedback! Stay tuned for the next chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you guys are enjoying the story!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo has been on a tirade since the moment he heard the message that was relayed across the galaxies. The former Emperor Palpatine had returned and he was out for blood. His grandfather's former master was an obvious threat to the power Kylo and his First Order held. But on top of that ominous message Rey had escaped him. She had been able to overpower his troops and been able to fly a Tie Fighter off into unknown space. With the mounting concern with the threat to his throne Kylo had gone off on one of his worst rages yet. With at least four petty officers killed and at least a good dozen expendable stormtroopers dead by his blade, Kylo was almost too ready to kill the one who was at least in part responsible for his outrage.</p><p>"You weak fool! How could you let this happen!?" Ren had shouted wildly to Hux as the defiant man was shaken to his knees, fearful of the infamous rage of Kylo Ren. He had given the officer one more chance to prove himself useful but no more and with that he had set about on the more important task of finding out where the supposedly late Emperor was hiding. He had dug into the archives of his grandfather's records and discovered the supposed location of a Wayfinder that would lead him to where Palpatine was based.</p><p>His findings led him to the planet Mustafar. The colonists there he paid no mercy too, his malice blinding him as he struck them down one by one as if they were nothing but training dummies. He was simply blowing off steam. Then he had found the secret place, using his inner dark side abilities to unlock the stone altar before it revealed to him the precious device that would lead him to Palpatine.</p><p>Rey would have to wait, but unknown to him, what he would discover with the Emperor would be leading him back to her in the end.<br/>"I have been every voice...you have ever heard...inside your head." The morphing voice of the dark Lord proclaimed after endless taunts as Kylo walked boldly into the catacombs underneath the floating structure in search of the living corpse. When he finally discovered him, tangled in cords and tubes, barely considered human anymore, Kylo raised his saber ready to strike down his current enemy. But then he was speaking words to him, just as the voices in his head had spoken like, with promises of power and rank. Palpatine told him that the First Order was only the beginning and that he could offer him so much more to ensure the total control of the galaxy. But what bothered Kylo most of all was when he told him that Rey, the last hope of the Jedi, was not who he he thought her to be (that is, a nobody with unusual gifts), he asked him who then Rey was.</p><p>"She is my grand-child. A Palpatine." The emperor seemed more disgusted than proud that he had a legacy, perhaps because she had turned out as a Lightsider in the end. Kylo could understand this but then he was telling him that in order for the promises Palpatine was making him to become reality, he would have to kill Rey to ensure the end of the Jedi line.</p><p>Instead of resolve, Kylo only felt conflict and he tried to hide it but he knew the Emperor could see his mind. The creature smiled knowingly and told him that this would be his only task he would have to fulfill in order to ensure his power would remain in tact. Kylo could only nod his head and say. "So be it." before turning away, hating himself for being weak and letting the man compel him and wondering if he was making the right choice by siding with the devious man.</p><p>---</p><p>Kylo was in his quarters, white backdrop as he sat upon a flat sofa seat, plaid in his black attire with the added addition of his helmet which he had gotten mended. The crackled red streaks where the creature had blow torched it fixed glowed slightly as Kylo stared blankly ahead, lost in his dark thoughts. Conflict plagued his mind. He wanted to believe that he could do what the Emperor asked of him but Rey... their bond... his hope for her to still turn... it all played inside his head. But a small part of him believed the truth: she would not turn. There was too much goodness in her, too much light. She was strong, much stronger than him. But he knew that he could defeat her, being more skilled, but a bigger part of him, the side which he most tried to push down into the pit was shouting for him to spare her. She was his enemy yet... they were so strongly connected in the force and he had never met anyone like her before. And most of all, she believed in him, at least, in Ben Solo. And that alone caused Kylo to think again of the Light, to reconsider his ways and to move away from the things of his past he had done so wrongly and to try and regain control of where he used to be.</p><p>But all these purer thoughts were thrown down and extinguished, at least, for the moment, as Kylo focused now on the task at hand. He had to find out where Rey was hiding and he had to tell her the truth. She deserved to know who she was and he hoped that maybe that would persuade her to take his former offer. And also, he wanted to know why, why that she, when he had first asked her to take his hand in the throne room, why she had hesitated. She had considered to take it and he had felt her desire to do so. But then she hadn't. He had to know what had urged her to take it so readily. He knew the reason why she didn't want to take it, but the reason for why she could have... that plagued Kylo's mind.</p><p>He took in a deep breath before letting the force lead him to her, finally opening his mind to their bond as he had kept it closed so tightly before. Afraid of what he might do before without the restraint of his better half. But now he was ready and so he closed his eyes, finding her signature before they opened once again and he saw her in the light.</p><p>"You are a difficult woman to keep a hold of." Kylo began, starting the conversation with somewhat lightness as he sat there, his hands on either side of him as he stared at her through the mask. His voice was simulated cold but it had a lit as he bent his head slightly forward, waiting for her to respond to him thru the bond.</p><p>--<br/>t had been about a week and a couple of days, since Rey had escaped with one of Rens Fighters. Finding a way out of the ship, was easier than she had first anticipated. General Hux wasn't much of a savant. No wonder, it had been easy enough to simply convince him to let her find the way back to her quarters herself simply using a few jedi mind tricks on him and a couple of troopers with the help of the force. Finding her way back to the resistance however, had been a much more difficult task. Rey wasn't used to navigating her own way around in a space ship and eventhough she by now quite enjoyed it, before she had met all the others, she didn't even leave her home planet once. Compared to other children the scavenger didn't grow up as a pilot. The sky was never her playground, but rather a limit that she never got the chance to explore. For years after years the desert had been the only thing she had known. Her home, eventhough she had no idea as of yet, that the desert even wasn't where she was originally from.</p><p>The young woman could not recall, how long it took her to find her way back to Ajan Kloss, the current base of the rebel alliance. It was a place very was well hidden and secret. Even with the help of the force and her memory it was a planet even for her hard to find.</p><p>After Rey did make it back however things weren't looking as bright as she thought. Somehow General Leia had gotten the message that Emperor Palpatine had returned. A dark lord, people long have thought dead. While Finn, Poe and Leia surely seemed much relieved about Reys return to the base, most of them were too busy thinking about the return of the darkness instead. A grim cloud hovered over the rebel alliance, some of them claiming, Rey was the only hope they had left. But what was hope, when they didn't even know where exactly the dark master was hiding. What was hope, when there were no sparks left. The others had always been confident about the scavengers powers, she for herself though didn't feel much of a force connection these days. Ever since she had left Rens ship, she had felt somewhat empty. Like something in the force around her was missing, something she couldn't quite understand or define.</p><p>It must have been late, when Rey felt a familiar presence around her. Laid down on her makeshift bed, she had noticed a sudden pull and strengthening of the force. It was the closest she had felt to the force since the day she and Ren trained together in the arena. She sat up, now seeing him in his quarters, feeling a hot yet cold rush of blood through her veins. "I thought we were over this mask thing", she stated looking at his new helmet, feeling slightly intimidated. She did not know what the former Solo now wanted. Couldn't quite tell yet if he was mad about her escaping or if this visit was just another one of his trials to get her to finally give into the dark. Unsure of what to say next, she quietly waited for him to speak up, looking around camp to make sure that nobody else was awake or maybe even watching. </p><p>--</p><p>Rey appeared more rested than the last few times he'd seen her. However, she did not hold as much spirit as he recalled of her when she bowed before Snoke in the throne room. Her words she had spoken to his former master had almost been enough to convince Ben Solo himself he was not too far gone. It was true he had believed it, at least the part about what she said about not bowing any longer before Snoke. But just as Kylo Ren was good at doing, he ended up twisting the good into bad and his battle against the guard had ended with him only seeking more power than becoming the humble, redemption seeking Lightsider Rey had hoped he would become.</p><p>Yet even though he could read her outward appearance Ren was unable to gauge her inner most thoughts. He tried to think of what she must be feeling like from the sudden return of the galaxy's last known great Evil. The irony of what she might be feeling to what she would emotions would erupt within her when Ren told her of the relations she had with Palpatine. But he wouldn't jump on that topic so soon, first he just wanted to know how she was. Perhaps a more caring tone than what Kylo Ren should have felt toward the young scavenger but he couldn't help it. He had been thinking about her, albeit many things of which were not so fond in his anger from the past week, but he had even gotten an almost antsy emotion toward her and where she was. It was strange, this bond, how it was affecting Kylo. It was like a rubber band being stretched to its' limits when he couldn't see her, when she wasn't there in the same room or planet even. At first, when the bond first opened to them, when they were apart it just felt like an annoying itch that he couldn't reach but now it seemed to be a ringing in his ears. Kylo didn't like that she had this affect on him. He wasn't a needy man and he didn't like that this bond made him feel as if he needed this girl to make himself feel... whole. But the more he thought about their bond, from what the Emperor had revealed, the more he was starting to realize that their connection wasn't random, that it was destined. That her and his souls were connected in a way no other two's were in the galaxy. Her father had been the son of a Great Sith Lord and his mother had been the daughter of an equally powerful Sith. They were bound to meet and Kylo was convinced their dryad in the force would serve as the foundation of their great new order they would facilitate together. If not, well, he wasn't sure. But the thought of having to destroy her made him fearful, just what would he be getting rid of in his life? Could her downfall really be the key that would unlock his full dark potential as Palpatine had foretold?</p><p>Ren made sure all these thoughts were silenced as he focused on her, smirking behind the helmet at her comment. Yes, they were past the mask, but it was more a defense so he could hide the vulnerability he felt, especially around her who knew the man behind the mask.</p><p>"It intimidates you, as it does many." Ren said knowingly, looking past her for a few seconds before a hand came to rest calmly against his thigh. "Hiding behind your Resistance friends won't keep you safe." He began again, speaking matter-of-factly before his eyes narrowed behind the visor. "There is something much worse coming in the days ahead." He figured he might as well give her a warning, if she would believe what he had to tell her. He had never lied to her. "I've been patient with you and continue to be, you know that I can take whatever I want." He said, almost smugly, echoing the words of past he had said to her before. "Aren't you tired of the same old argument we keep having?" He asked curiously, knowing in the back of his mind that this was fruitless. She would not turn, but he could at least bide his time before he stated his true business he had with her here.</p><p>--</p><p>Something about their bond this time felt different. It felt even closer, much more raw than the past few times they had met. It seemed like he was right there, eventhough he was on a whole different planet. For the first time, since she had been back in the Base, she had felt something other than selfdoubt and anger. For the first time since then, she felt like she was one with the force.</p><p>Unlike other times Rey did not need to concentrate, to keep the bond going. She noticed her thoughts drifting off for a second, something that in their previous meetings, often had been a risk to their bond. This time it felt natural, like they were meant to be meeting, just that they couldn't because they were too far away. "Why is our bond getting stronger?", she thought, knowing exactly that he would be able to feel it. That there was no need in asking the question that had no answer, out loud.</p><p>"You're talking about the Emperor", Rey now started slowly, making sure that he knew that their crew was prepared. "The resistance has been informed about his sudden appearance. Call yourself lucky, that they have someone else to hunt now.", she added sounding more confident than she actually was. Facing the truth, no one of them knew as of yet where he had been hiding. No one of them even knew how strong this monster could have possibly grown. She had only ever seen the dark side in the power of Ren, only heard stories and myths about other Dark Lords. According to Leia, Emperor Palpatine was a whole different evil. A whole other level, someone she wasn't sure yet she was able to face. She didn't know or understand why everyone relied or trusted her powers. She was no one special. Just a scavenger from Jakku feeling things in her mind. Just a young woman trying to keep up with the pressure, with whatever things, for whatever reason, people constantly expected from her.</p><p>She knew she didn't need to mention to Kylo that she was planning on going with them. He knew, that Rey would not let her friends go on this mission alone, hell he probably knew, that she'd preferably go by herself if she could. "Is that why you're here?", she asked with a now calmer voice, not understanding whether he wanted to warn her or to take one last shot at changing her mind. "Trying to get me to abandon my friends? Letting them putting their lives in danger alone?" She frowned, now getting up from her bed. "You're a fool to still think that i would betray my family.", she couldn't help but slightly smile in amusement as she shaked her head in pure disbelief as she looked to the ground. She wouldn't make the same mistake that he did. That Kylo Ren did, because she knew that Ben Solo wouldn't. "Just like Ben Solo wouldn't.", she now even added out loud, tilting her head back up now and looking at his mask through the force. </p><p>--</p><p>Kylo heard her thoughts, like a gentle whisper it passed thru their bond and he had no answer to give. He too was curious as to why it seemed more significant than it had felt like before. Would it continue to get stronger? Again Ren thought of what would happen if one of them ceased living, what might that do to the other that was still standing? He tried to dispel the worry of the 'what if's' from his mind as he focused on what she said next.<br/>"I don't believe in luck." Ren never liked the concept, it always related back somehow to his father's bad gambling habit. He always said luck was on his side whenever he won a bet, but that had nothing to do with it. No one was lucky or unlucky, it was simply skill that mattered and if one lacked less of it that meant they lost more. Luck was only an excuse people used when they didn't want to admit they were a pathetic loser most of the time.</p><p>"No actually. That isn't the reason." He confessed, already resolved that he would not be able to turn her, at least, not without use of force which he didn't want to do. (not that his mind tricks worked on her anyway) "But you'd be surprised just how quickly loyalty can change hands when lives are on the line." He told her calmly, hoping she knew that not all her friends would stand with her at the end, when the war was at its' peak and their destruction was near. Just how willing will she be to protect them when they won't stand with her?</p><p>Ren found himself standing to mirror her, his emotions charged as she used his old alias once more. How she spoke, as if she knew Ben Solo was getting on his last nerve. She had no idea what his life had been like before. She didn't understand. And she couldn't possibly understand why he had chosen the path he did. No one could. "Your confidence in the man I once was is in vain. His family tried saving him, what makes you think you can?" He asked her, raising a brow before shaking his head, dismissing the topic all together, not even wanting to hear her reply.</p><p>"Enough worthless talk." He thought to her, his attitude changing as he became more intent in his task. "Do you wonder why your have such a strong connection to the force? Why it has connected us the way it has? You and I." He walked a few meters toward her, walking in a semi-circle, his gaze boring into her thru the mask which he knew she could probably feel within the bond. "It stumped me as well, and I was resolved to think you were simply one of the 'lucky' ones, but then I discovered something interesting." He went on, his voice low as he waited to see if her curiosity would be baited from his words.<br/>--</p><p>Ignoring her thoughts and struggling to battle his own, she could feel, that Ren too had felt it. Their bond growing stronger, their connection so raw it felt real.</p><p>Compared to a lot of things Kylo said, his next words, weren't much of a suprise. She didn't picture him as someone who believed in luck or even in hope. His mind was too dark, too fand deceived by his own darked thoughts. "Do you believe in anything except power?", she now asked him in a soft spoken voice. This time it was a genuine question. A question, that she had wondered about for a while. Reys gaze met his mask, as he searched for an answer. She felt his conflict, as he was trying to put his emotions aside.</p><p>When Kylo mentioned a probable change in the loyality of her friends, she could not help but wonder, how he could be so sure of that. "You're jealous that you have no one left." Rey looked around. Her stare now facing the nightsky, as she felt a slight breeze of wind on her arms. "You're alone in this galaxy.", she added as she looked up to the stars.</p><p>Rey could not explain, what exactly it was, that connected her to Ben Solo but just like Leia, she knew that there was still light in him left. "Because i can feel it.", she answered quietly, before she turned back to him. "I can feel that Ben is still in you.", she now said even more confidently, listening up, as Ren suddenly mentioned their bond. The young woman wanted to nod her head, but she couldn't. She froze, as Kylo suddenly moved closer to her. "What is it?", she wondered curiously, breathing in and out as she could literally feel his stare through the mask. </p><p>--</p><p>Kylo found himself hesitating at her question, it unexpectedly jarring him in a way he didn't find pleasant. Maybe he had once believed in more than the power he tried to desperately hold onto. Once, he had believed in the goodness of people. Once, he had believed in justice. Once, he had believed in the fairy tale reality of love, of having love and being loved in return. But... things had changed. His experiences with people, people who were once close to him, had altered his idea of these three core things. People were only good when it suited them in their own favor. So was it really goodness, or simply self service? Justice was laughable, especially when it had been played with in the New Republic. He had overheard his mother in her meetings, heard how the Great System swayed when it suited them. Again, there was justice sure, but only when it suited the one in power. How many criminals were set free because of the selfish desires of a power? How many murderers went unpunished for their dark acts? Kylo's view on justice was a simple one: eye for an eye. But even he wasn't so naive to believe that The First Order's justice system was any better than the gilded Republic's. They served justice, even to those who didn't deserve it. So no, justice was dead. So what else? Love? Ha! Love was an illusion. It was a set of chemicals in one's genetic make up. It was what people liked to label lust. But love didn't last, even if one seemed to find it. He saw that first hand with his parents. He saw that with his Uncle, how love could be so easily admitted but actions rarely backed up the words. Love had failed him, and so, love wasn't in a working equation for Kylo Ren. But Ben, oh, how he hoped. How he desired it. But love was weakness, showing pure emotion was a defeating quality, that was what Kylo had come to believe. But it was something he still craved, a part of him did.</p><p>These conflicting thoughts raced inside the dark-haired man's mind and he was glad of the mask because he knew she would see the battle inside himself, the good trying to come into light, but he gulped, pushing down the raw wounds that he held from his past.</p><p>"You said once that I wasn't alone." Kylo found himself murmuring, just loud enough for her to hear and he felt a crushing sadness overcome him as he realized that maybe he was lost and alone. He had his generals, he had his servant troops, and maybe he had had that gilded belief that Snoke had been someone he could confide in but the truth was? It hadn't even been real. It had been a manipulation from the Emperor and from all Ren had seen of the dark side, that man, that monster, he had no love, no compassion, no light left. He had taken up near immortality but had been cursed with pure darkness in the process. But he doubted the old sith lord even cared about that sacrifice. Kylo wondered briefly if that was what could happen to him one day.. and whether he would want that truly. To be completely void of any light.</p><p>"Balance is key Ben. Imbalance is the downfall of many." The words of his former master, Skywalker's voice, whispered in his ear and he realized then that he was letting himself lose control. Letting his defenses down and he felt all his pent up guilt and grief begin to ease their way outside of the confines of his mind. He bit his tongue, using the pain to overpower the inner pain of his heart and also for fear that he might let something slip. Some secret weakness that Rey could use against him. He had to be strong.</p><p>"Ben Solo is dead." He gritted out, his voice shaking slightly as he took another step toward her, trying to appear threatening, his fingers itching to take up his saber and hit something. But that would be too much of a reaction, she couldn't know how affected he was by her words. Hell, even by her presence. Why did she remind him of how much pain he was feeling? How much conflict? How much remorse he felt over the things he had done, the things he might do if he didn't... No. Turning was not an option. He had done too much. He was in too deep. He was a lost cause.</p><p>"Rey, you come from a great darkness. As I did, someone mighty in power lies in your blood line." He began again, his breath quickening as he tried to focus on the facts and not his emotions. "You're a Palpatine, Rey." He said starkly, his fist (which he hadn't realized he'd been making) opening up as he gestured toward her and then to him. "Your and my grandfather's, they shared a bond. Master and Apprentice. Unbreakable until the moment Vader turned back. Now it has returned, in us, but different. We are a dyad in the force. Two that are one. Light and Dark. Two halves of a whole." He forced his voice to slow, strengthened by their bond which seemed to react to the confession of what made their bond possible. It all was starting to make sense. Ren was even in silent awe of it as he tried to imagine what sort of destiny lay before them. Whether good or bad, right or wrong, either way, their souls were tied to something greater than themselves.</p><p>Her hope should have been sickening to him. Yet her belief was so strong that it took his breath away and he couldn't breathe, couldn't think clearly. Where was his home? Was it a place? A group or side? A person? Inside Ben felt like he didn't have a home, not anymore. Kylo simply lived in a makeshift tent he brought with him wherever he went, hoping the crushing waves and wind didn't tear it down and drown him. There really was nothing left for him, except control. Maybe if he gained enough power over others he could pretend like he belonged apart of something. But how could a king exist without a kingdom? Was what he was trying to build, this New Order, was it really set up to act like something that could feel like a home? He had no place to rest his head, though he tried to make home in the darkness his conflicting soul tried to set it aflame and he couldn't stand the heat of the pain it caused him. Then the light, just when it got close enough to touch him he shrunk away, too ashamed, too heavy-burdened by the things he'd done to reach out to it. Maybe that was why he couldn't believe Rey fully that he could come home, that he could have a place again, that he could be saved.</p><p>Ren was frozen still as he watched and waited, her words from before echoing in his mind as he watched her, the realization sinking in and seeing various emotions come over her. He could sense she was relieved yet mourned by the fact of it. Was she thinking of her parents again? Though Kylo didn't know the details about why they had abandoned her he could guess that it was because they might have been just as cruel as Palpatine had, or else, unfit to keep her. But of course the real reason was much less painful than that conclusion, one that Kylo would soon find out.</p><p>When Rey had stuck out her hand for him to take he found his jaw go slack underneath the mask. Would her faith never be dampened? He could kill a hundred men and alien infront of her and would she still not find doubt in his cause? Didn't she know he had tortured and tormented dozens of lives throughout the galaxy since he became Kylo Ren? Did she care how many lives he had ruined; how many families he had torn apart due to this war that was still being dictated by him? It was baffling and amazing and frightening for Ben Solo who was now being the one to make the next move.</p><p>Standing on the edge of something he couldn't comprehend nor trust, the young man slowly reached for her fingers, feeling the air between them stiffen and shake as the electrons in the air seemed to buzz from the closing proximity between the two force users. He knew that he could connect their bond like before in the hut, even though the fabric of his glove, as he was close enough to see the natural wetness around her eyes and slight freckles of her cheek. Ben was close to the surface as he heard a thousand voices around him, whispering words of encouragement as his fingertips drew nearer to her own.</p><p>But then a cloud came over him. A thunderous voice hit him in the back of his mind like a roar telling him to stop. His gaze snapped back into focus and he felt aghast for what he was about to do. Damn his weakness! Damn his conflicting mind! Damn her hope! Ben's desires! They didn't matter. And he knew what he had to do, he had to find out where she was or else get her to come to him as before, the former being the easier of the two. If he could just see her surroundings...<br/>His hand was close to hers still but he made an unexpected turn as his grip went to her wrist, bringing her jerkily toward him as he tried to tear into her mind and see through her eyes. But instead of finding her surroundings a bright light washed over him, over both of them, and a hissing sound erupted, like the sound of a ship before it went into a hyperjump. The power of it shocked him. With the power it gave it showed him a vision. There was a little girl, about seven or eight, she was surrounded by desert dunes and looking up at the sky wistfully. Then the scene jerked him into a ship room and he saw two adults, a man and a woman, looking at the same child and holding her close. They were speaking to her, promising to keep her safe and that they would be back. Be strong Rey. The man urged, and he realized what he was seeing. Her parents. They were sending her away. Not because they didn't want her but to protect her from something. As quick as a flash the scene switched again and he heard the manic laughter of the Emperor and saw him run a blade through the same man he had seen before. Then the woman and he understood. Palpatine had wanted Rey and he had killed her parents. But they had done their job, they had hidden their daughter away from the monster, but had paid with their lives.</p><p>As quickly as they came and what felt like minutes (but had only been seconds) of watching the events unfold, Kylo felt the heat leave his body and he felt cold, all at once dropping his hand from Rey's arm and stepping back. The images of what he saw seared in his mind and he breathed heavy as he held his head, needing better oxygen as it seemed his mask's filtration wasn't working properly. Ripping the mask from his face, Ren's messy hair fell over one side of his gaze as he kept himself back from where Rey stood, perhaps in a similar state, as the sudden transferal of energies had taken quite a chunk from both of their force signatures.<br/>"You weren't abandoned. They were. they were protecting you." Ben's voice, small and frail breaking through the layers of a sedated dark lord as he stared at the woman before him. And then he wondered: if he had seen a part of her past, had she... had she seen something of his? Ben worried for what it could have been, whether good or bad, secret or not. Something she hadn't known before, maybe something Ben hadn't known. What did she see?</p><p>--</p><p>Rey knew that she must have sounded pathetic. That she must have sounded exactly like him. Begging him to come back to his family. Begging him to come home with her. She knew that Kylo Ren was a monster, a terrible person, but she also knew that Ben Solo was not. She couldn’t explain or even make out, why exactly she was so drawn to Ben. Drawn to this person, she barely knew, yet she had instantly connected with when they first met. Rey still had a hard time processing, what Kylo had told her. She was a Palpatine. His granddaughter to be exact. How was that even possible? Trying to find the right words, Rey simply just sighed, trying to process all of the sudden thoughts in her mind. Her visions of her on the darkside. They weren't been random. They were part of her future. Her bloodline. The destiny that the Emperor would have wanted for her. She needed to find him. She wanted closure. She needed to know where he was. Torn between the light and the darkside, the scavenger felt uncomfortably lost. She needed answers. From him. "Where is he?" Rey asked. "Take me to him", she added quietly, not knowing about the Emperors offer to Ren.</p><p>For a splitsecond Rey had thought, that he would do it. That he'd take her hand. That he would come home. She felt their energy connecting, as he moved closer to her. She could tell that he was reluctant. She saw the resistance but also the urge in his face. Just like her, he was torn. Unsure of what’s right or wrong. Lost not knowing which path to take next. "Ben", she spoke softly, now even with a slight honest smile on her face. Rey never smiled when she was around Kylo. But just like this, she couldn't help it. For a splitsecond Rey was happy. Thinking that he would do it. Thinking that there was hope left.</p><p>She felt his grip on her wrist, too rough for her to back off, as he suddenly pulled the young woman towards him, wanting to enter the depths of her mind. Rey tried to resist, but she couldn't. Their bond and Kylo Ren was too strong. Suddenly a bright light appeared and lightening flashed in front of her eyes. She felt the power of the force taking over. Losing complete control of the situation, wanting to look for Ren but suddenly he was gone. All she saw was a whole other planet. Flinching, as someone familiar appeared. She noticed the silhouette of Leia. It became clearer, the more she now tried to focus. And then she saw Han, standing in front of her, leaving. Mumbling something, she couldn't acoustically understand. She now noticed the tears streaming down Leias face, realizing that this was a vision of the moment, when Han had left. Trying to understand what he was saying, Rey now tried to gather more strength through the force. Concentrating hard on the vision, she finally heard Hans voice. Talking about, how he needs to leave in order to clear up his mind. Telling Leia, how he hasn't been the same, since Ben turned to the dark side. Telling her, he needed some time for himself. Before Rey could hear the rest of their conversation, the scene suddenly switched. She now saw Leia grieving. Screaming in pain, as she mourned the loss of not only ben but also her husband. Blaming herself for losing the two people closest to her in her life. As the visions in front of Reys eyes changed, she could almost feel Leias pain and grief through the force. She wanted to scream, but suddenly a light flash appeared. Leia was gone. She now looked back at Ben Solo, trying to catch her breath as she felt exhaustion and drained. The power of their bond through the visions had taken a toll on her. She felt her legs shaking, as she tried to keep herself up. Breathing heavily, she took a step back, thinking about what she just saw, only being ripped away from her thoughts as Ben now spoke up. He also saw a vision of her. Their bond must have exchanged memories with each other. She trembled as she listened to Ben. Her parents didn't mean to hurt her. They simply protected her.</p><p>Once again Rey had to fight the tears in her eyes. They weren't bad people. They loved her. They didn't want her to turn. "You're the reason you're parents separated.", Rey said, letting him know, what she saw from him. "I saw Leias grief. I saw her crying. I heard your father talking to her." Rey now looked to the floor. She couldn't bare looking into Bens eyes. She knew, if she did, she would only see pain. Desperation. Regret. She knew him and for some reason, the thought, of seeing him hurt, was something unbearable to her. "Your father left Leia because he was broken. Broken and torn by your choice. Thinking he had been a horrible father.", Rey pressed her lips together as she continued to speak. She didn't want to hurt Ben, but she figured, maybe it would help him realize, how much his parents have grieved him back then. What he had done. </p><p>--</p><p>where is he? take me to him Ren could feel the conflict from Rey, but hers different than his in that she was being pulled from light into the darkness. He knew her struggle, but from a different perspective. He wanted to tell her where the Emperor was, tell her to come meet him there but a part of him hesitated. The still small voice inside his head, the voice of Ben Solo, wanted him to protect Rey. If the Emperor wanted her dead, and by Kylo's hand, then bringing her to the creature himself would spell her doom. But then the dark lord wondered, if he could get Palpatine to see the darkness locked inside her maybe he could help him to bring out the sith within her...</p><p>He had little time to think on what that could entail as he attempted to first find her whereabouts, ignoring the way she spoke his name with such deplorable hope. But then he had been thrown into the vision of her and further into a tizzy as he felt his better half take control. His breaths mirroring hers, the weary man held onto his side, as if it might help to protect him from what Rey was about to tell him. They both were so caught up in the other person's visions that they hardly had time to process what the other was saying. He could sense her own unease and pain before she even began to speak. Even as she started to reveal to him what she saw Ben, in some small way, had already suspected what she would tell him. His parents. Their separation, their pain, guilt and grief- his mother's most of all, from his turning. Somehow Ben had already known the truth, that he had been the reason his father had left Leia. He was both parts angry and in shame as he realized that he had failed the two most important people in his life. But his mother's sorrow... that was perhaps the most awful thing his conscious could bear. He had sensed her pain and longing for him over the weaker bond the mother and son shared, but he had never really thought of the depth and level of his mother's suffering. Then there was Han, and how it seemed he had blamed himself for Ben's turning. Maybe it was true, in some part, but Ben couldn't admit to it because it had always been there, lurking in the shadows, his inner darkness. It was his fault, he had caused his parent's separation, him, nothing and no one else. Maybe he had always suspected it would be him that would have led to it. Could he have prevented it though? Or was it just this inevitable curse that would have befallen him no matter what he had done?</p><p>All these thoughts and more crossed over Ben's face as he was glad that Rey wasn't watching as he looked down and then up, feeling the blasted wetness befall his eyes as he could hardly contain the remorse and grief. His father's face as he died on the bridge flashed before his eyes, then the picture of his mother's suffering, before and after the event, even though he couldn't see her physically he could picture what she might have looked like. The pain was tearing him apart and he knew not even the thickest mask could hide the hurt he felt over it all.</p><p>When he had composed himself enough to look back at her, his jaw had become clenched, his throat felt dry and raw but he refused to shed a single tear. But his face remained a solemn one as he stared at Rey, his emotions a mixture of hate, fear and something else as he tried to let Kylo Ren take back control. He couldn't let the pain of the past consume him, drive him to weakness. And as much as he didn't want to see the potential of Rey's darkness wasted he knew that, due to what she now knew and what she could now use against him, he would have to make the second toughest choice of his life. He would have to destroy her. He had no options left, at least, not that Kylo Ren could see. This was what he would have to do. But first, he had to convince her that he was willing to change, that her revelation had done something to him, that she could now trust him to be able to do the thing Ben Solo was so afraid to do: turn from the dark.</p><p>"Tatooine." Kylo's voice sounded hollow and far away even in his own ears, but he made sure that it sounded void of any hate he might have been feeling for her or any subtle hint that he had the intention of tricking her into coming to her death. "Meet me on Mos Espa. Alone. I need to show you something." It was as good a lie as any, and perhaps technically not a lie since there was a story tied to that planet where his grandfather was concerned. But from that half-lie, he would do his duty. He would accomplish his mission; he would fulfill his final destiny. Then maybe, just maybe, the pain would truly be rid from his soul.<br/>And with those words, he took one step back and broke off the connection. As he turned away, now completely alone in his quarters, Ben Solo realized the grave mistake he was about to make and wondered just how much more pain he would have to bear before this nightmare was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leave comments and suggestions! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The chapter we all have waited for!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo Ren piloted down his TIE silencer as he entered into the atmosphere of Tatooine. Dust and sand swirled around his black ship as he landed it a few miles outside one of the lesser known settlements of Mos Espa. Powering down the controls, Ren looked out toward the still darkened skyline, seeing tiny lights in the distance where the town was situated. It was cool as he climbed out of the cockpit, landing firmly down onto the rocky surface he'd made his landing post. The young wore his dark cloak, his saber strapped down to his side along with a hidden blaster pistol hidden on his other side. He didn't exactly want to draw attention to himself here so had dressed the part of a traveler. His eyes squinted out into the desert night, hearing nothing but silence and the whispering dunes as he brought his hood up over his head. His thoughts were drawn in as he tried to keep his mind free of any distractions that might keep him from what he was here to do. The saber at his side seemed heavier as he turned toward the small city, his fists tight against the bitter cold of the night as he started his trek through the sandy waste.</p><p>Miles later he found himself entering into a tavern for temporary shelter, keeping his head low as he passed a few occupants who seemed to lost in their own conversations to care to look up at the passing stranger. The bartender barely looked up as it asked him what he liked. Ren replied he simply wanted a water which was on the house, and he found himself sitting there alone at the far end of the room quietly gulping the cool liquid down. As his shadowed gaze looked around the hub he noticed a family sitting a few tables behind him, a woman and a man with their adolescent son. The child was laughing and tinkering away at something on the table, the family was dressed in rags but appeared to be content in the moment. Kylo felt a pang of pity for them but most of all he felt as if he were an intruder in that place. Seeing them there enjoying their time together made him recall a time in his own past where him and his own parents ate and talked together in a similar (yet more high scale) setting. He remembered the warmth of the conversations and how his mother's eyes lit up at a joke his father made as young Ben sat politely beside them smiling along even though he didn't know what the joke was referencing. Either way, it had been a quaint and happy time for them all and one Ben Solo found himself missing more and more with each passing day. He didn't deserve that kind of happiness now, he thought, as he turned his face away and stared down hard at the counter top. let the past die His demons whispered as he stiffly stood up and walked out of the pub, pulling his hood closer around his face as he followed a small path up the road until he got to a set of small housing units. He knew this place, as he had visited at least one time before, when he was obsessed with learning his grandfather's origin place. And here he was, on the planet, in the same town where his life had begun. He had been a slave boy to only one living parent, a mother whom he had been close with. His life was simple, poor, and hard and he might have stayed in that existence if not for the Jedi that came by that faithful day. Reading through the archives of Vader's biography, he had mentioned how he had been saved from the ashes of poverty and introduced to a life like no other and had eventually started his Jedi training under Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ben's namesake), but the original Jedi who had seen potential in young Skywalker had been Master Qui-Gon Jinn. If not for him, Anakin Skywalker would have never known that he was force sensitive, would have never become great and feared. It was funny to think that such a small, innocent boy would grow up to be one of the galaxy's greatest threats. But then again, who would have predicted Ben Solo's turn into the infamous Kylo Ren?</p><p>Kylo managed to get inside the unit which he knew to be abandoned. Ever since the Galactic Empire was inaugurated the people of Mos Espa took up calling Vader's past home a cursed place. Or else they feared he might one day come back and destroy whoever he saw occupying his mother's previous shelter. Either way, Kylo knew the code to get in from Vader's journal and so let himself into the dusty, cold living area. The moon-light showed through the small sky lights scattered throughout the small hut as he walked quietly around the space. He could feel faint force signatures as he went from one spot to the next but the only living thing he could sense other than himself was a small alien mouse skirting along the back wall and out of sight. After surveying the area and deciding it was safe, Kylo Ren withdrew his hood and breathed in deeply. I know what I have to do He thought to himself, his eyes closing. I only hope that I have the strength to do it Kylo feared that that would be his downfall, any weakness, any hesitation of doing what he knew had to be done to not only ensure his own darkly destiny but gain the Emperor's fleet he had promised, He had to be strong, but he had to be sure. He couldn't let his mind wander to the past, not think of what Rey had said before about him. The light couldn't hinder him here, not when he had to completely dispel it in order to complete the task at hand. Killing Rey... it wasn't something he truly wanted to do, but he knew that he needed to do it for his sake and for hers as well. Because if he didn't do it he knew the Emperor would find a way to and he knew Palpatine would make her suffer, and the least Kylo could do was make her death quick and painless. Maybe she would find a way to thank him for that mercy he was giving her of a quick death in the after life. Or else, haunt his dreams as his father did. As all the voices of the ones he'd killed did as he slept.</p><p>Breathing out now and attempting to vanquish any second thoughts or regrets inside his mind, Kylo opened his eyes once more, resolved as he reached out with the force and spoke to her through their bond.</p><p>Rey...</p><p>He paused, waiting for a reply.</p><p>Are you within the city limit?</p><p>He found himself struggling to keep the connection due to the fact he was also trying to shield his mind from her of his true intent. He only hoped she was close because he wanted to get this done quickly before something changed his mind.</p><p>--</p><p>Rey had left with one of the X-Wings, as soon as she had ended the force bond with Ren. She knew she had to be quick, if she wanted to leave unnoticed. She knew that no one would have let her gone off by herself. Finn had been keeping a close eye on her, ever since he found out what happened the last time. She was lucky that he was sound asleep when she left. Only equipped with a map and her saber, Rey had made it to Tatooine. Releasing a big sigh of relief, as she stepped on the ground. Suddenly it all felt familar. The sand and the dunes almost looked like at home. She smiled. Maybe she had missed it. Maybe she still did right now. Something about the dust and the mystery of the desert gave the scavenger comfort. Maybe because for years it was all she had known. Rey had landed outside of the city, she didn't see much, except sand and couple of well run down huts. It looked like no one had been to this part of town for a while. Perhaps for the better, since she didn't want to get caught. She didn't know if Palpatine had spies or perhaps an alliance. Just like she still did not know of Rens plan. Surely Rey had wondered, what the dark lord had wanted to show her. The light in her made her believe in the good. Was this a piece of his past, that he wanted to show her? Was there a story, a memory here? Curiously Rey looked around. She needed to find him, eventhough she would have also loved to explore. She wondered what kind of scrap and old metal she could probably find here. What kind of things she could built, what history lied in the ruins of this place.</p><p>Rey did not know, how long she aimlessly wandered. She tried to find Ren through the bond, but for some reason she couldn't get through. The cool wind gave the scavenger shivers, it was a cold evening, as there were no clouds in the sky. The darkness was simply lit up by moonlight. It looked almost peaceful, quite beautiful even. After a while, Rey had sat down to rest. She found shelter underneath a half broken structure. Just hidden enough to keep her away from the breeze and any potential unwanted guests. She had wrapped herself in the long cloth she normally wore over her tunic, decided to take a bit of a break, since she still hadn't heard from Kylo. Since she still didn't know when and where to her path would continue.</p><p>"Ben", Rey answered quickly, as she suddenly heard his voice from afar and saw the dark haired man through the force. She must have been asleep. She felt the pain in her back, which was still leaning against a hard rock. "I don't know where i am.", she admitted, trying to concentrate on her thoughts. Perhaps if he would get into her mind, he could find her location or he could simply share his whereabouts with her. "One would think, i'd know my way around a deserted planet.", she added sarcastically, making fun of her own inability to navigate her way through the sands. It was a light conversation. For some reason, she felt somehow at ease. She trusted him, had no idea that he was out for her blood. </p><p>--</p><p>When Kylo heard her response he felt both relief and dread, doing well to keep both from appearing on his face. He almost hoped she hadn’t decided to come, not having heard from her since he broke off their bond a day and a half ago. She was either more naïve than he had originally believed or had enough hope for the both of them to think he would turn. she really doesn’t know when to give up As much as Ben Solo found himself liking the faith the young scavenger seemed to have in him, he feared that when he set about to end her life if she would still feel the same way. Ben knew what betrayal felt like and he’d certainly have a hard time re-trusting her if Rey had been the one in his shoes. A funny thought, him, a young Jedi hero trying to convince a dark empress like Rey to come back to the Light, hypothetically speaking of course. “As much as I detest you referring to me by that name I think I’m starting to grow accustomed to it.” Kylo admitted with a bit of his own dry humor, a rare yet typical thing of the young lord to portray towards others. A seldom habit he got from his father he supposed, or Force, even his mother, they both tended to use the same type at times. Hearing Rey use a bit of sarcasm towards herself was somewhat bemusing to Ren as well. A pang of guilt twisted in his gut as the force brought her into focus and he saw that she was laid prone in the sand and rocks. She didn’t look that comfortable in that position but he guessed that too was something she had grown used to. ”I can tell by your surroundings that you are definitely not in a comfortable place.” He could say a bit of the same of his own though at least he had a proper roof over his head. He felt slight pity for her but he figured that too was also something she was used to being from Jakku. ”I want to try something.” Kylo spoke suddenly, reaching out in the force as he focused on the path in his head, the one he had taken from the dessert and focused on conveying that path to Rey. Almost without fail the force signature trail started to show, faint and hazy blue in color, coming from his feet and going toward the door where he came in and he knew it would show all the way to where Rey was now laying. He was slightly surprised that had worked, all he did was use a bit of his force energy and think of what he wanted to show her. This way now she would be able to locate him easily. And at least for once he actually wanted her to know where he was hiding.</p><p>”Use that to find me. Remember the code 5182.” He told her, walking now toward the center of the room, his gaze drifting anywhere but her own as he tried to shield his mind from her though he could sense her trying to press through. She was curious to why he had asked for her here. She had hope, fear and was that… excitement he sensed? He couldn’t be definitely sure but he couldn’t help but have some of his own eager energy. He hadn’t seen her in person since the ship where he had her (for however short a time). He’d missed her presence and despite what he knew he had to do before the night was out and morning came, he still wished for the moment when he could see her in the flesh. His eyes moved again to her own, seeing if she was making her way toward him and he couldn’t’ help but notice the way her skin showed in the moon-light of the Tatooine sky. She looked like a goddess dipped in moon beams, making her gait almost graceful as she followed the path he had given her toward him. He could only stare as he waited those long minutes before she would be before him.<br/>--</p><p>Rey could not help but smile, as Ben tried to be a little sarcastic himself. In a way he was just like his father. A side of him that was very present, but always very well hidden from her. Just like most of Ben Solos emotions, he had tried to keep his dry humor away from the public. Locked deep in the back of his mind, together with all of his feelings to all the strangers he passed. Rey often had wondered, what it was like. Not being able to show any emotions. Having to hide behind a constant facade. She knew, if she would ask, Ben would not answer. But just like all of his other secrets, the scavenger desperately wanted to know. She didn't know what exactly it was that she felt towards the older Solo. Couldn't make sense of the feelings she got whenever he mentioned her name or looked her straight in the eyes. At first, she thought it was just their connection. By now she had realized, it was more than their bond. The force may had brought them together, but what was inside of him was the reason that she was still holding on. Something about him and his way to think just foolishly awed her. He was so different. Different to anyone else she had met. Different to anyone else she had known.</p><p>Before Rey could think about another dry answer in regards to his words, their before rather patchy bond suddenly strengthened, she now was able to see a pathway leading up to his space. Rey silently nodded as she got up to start making her way through the desert. Guided by nothing but the force and the moonlight, she could tell they luckily weren't too far apart. With every step she came closer, she felt herself becoming more nervous. For some reason, she started to doubt, that he was here to show her his past. She gulped. She wasn't sure what and who to expect. Was Palpatine potentially with him? What would she say to someone, she was so closely related to yet had no bond to at all?</p><p>It was a few steps before Rey reached the door, when their force connection abruptly broke off. She didn't know if Ben ended it or if he stopped concentrating but something about it not being there anymore, suddenly left her in discomfort. The young woman nervously pressed her lips together, securely grabbing onto the hilt of saber, as she started to make her way through the door. "Ben?", Rey had asked quietly. "Ben?", she asked louder, as she didn't hear a response. </p><p>--</p><p>Kylo was silent as he let his force trail guide her to his grandfather's house. He was so focused on keeping his thoughts from her that he was having a difficult time reading her emotions as she trudged on in silence. But he watched her face which mostly remained drawn in concentration but he could faintly make out a hint of worry. Good, she would be wise to come here with a hint of fear in her veins. He might be luring her into thinking he was wanting to side with her belief that he could turn back, but she still was acutely aware of who Kylo Ren was, as well as who she thought Ben Solo was.</p><p>Just as he saw her get to the entrance of the condo he broke off the connection and stepped back into a darker part of the room. His heart started to pick up pace as the adrenaline shot through his system. How would he proceed? Would he let her in and let them talk more? Or would he simply hide and let her come in thinking all was well before coming at her like an assassin in the shadows? He felt himself gulping uncomfortably as the conflict inside his chest started once again. Then he heard her through the door and then louder as he heard the door swish open and he realized there was no more time to think as he kept himself back, his hand dropped at his side where his saber hung but he didn't grab hold of it yet as he stared at her silhouette in the door.</p><p>Do you know whose house this belonged to? He eventually sent his thoughts to her, doing well to keep himself well out of her eye sight as he decided to keep his distance from her. He kept the connection of their bond open for thought contact only as he stood there in the dark, watching her, waiting to see how close she could come into the room.</p><p>This was my grandfather's home He went on, knowing she probably had little clue before pausing to let her speak up if she so chose. But he would remain speaking to her through the bond so not to reveal his location. She might grow suspicious but she knew already he was not the most social sort. She could simply view it as nervousness on his part. And it was true, in a way, he was nervous, and he didn't like that. He didn't like that the young woman made him feel so different, much different than around anyone else.<br/>--</p><p>Rey quietly wandered through what was left of the ruins. She was looking for Ben, as he felt his presence close by but couldn't make out this shape in the dark. She had heard his thoughts. She had felt the connection. She was sure that he was hidden somewhere. She was sure he was hidden somewhere. Perhaps he was scared. Nervous even. Nervous to break at the thought of his past. "You don't need to hide, Ben.", the young woman spoke as she stepped in the center. Turning around once more, seeing nothing but black. "Your grandfather is long gone.", she tried to assure him, believing that the dark lord had been telling the truth. Thinking that Ben Solo was struggling, that he was having a hard time sharing his emotions with Rey. If only she could get him to trust her. She'd help him. Or at least she would try.</p><p>"You're different. You're better than him." As Ren continued to stay quiet and ignore her, the scavenger slowly started to become a little uneasy herself. She didn't like the sole darkness and the cold of this building. The thick run down walls made her feel kind of trapped. Trapped on a wide, deserted lonely planet. Not knowing what to do or even where to go next. She sighed as she concentrated in order to keep their bond going. If Ben was telling the truth, this once was the home of thousand of stories. Tales of a boy, who like Ben got lured into the darkness. The story of someone who couldn't turn back.</p><p>After what had felt like a couple of minutes in eery-like silence, Rey suddenly felt a lump in her throat, as she started to feel his presence behind her. </p><p>--</p><p>Rey knew what words would affect him. Somehow she knew just what to whisper to make Kylo Ren squirm in the dark. But what she said wasn't true, he wasn't gone, Vader, he was constantly with him, haunting him. Maybe not the Vader that redeemed himself from the past but the one that Ben had convinced himself was the greatest darkness there ever was in the galaxy. But what Rey said was rather contradictory. Hadn't she said before that he was afraid he would never be as strong as Darth Vader? Now she was saying he was better- but better how? Did she mean that he had more good in him than Anakin Skywalker? That he hadn't done as much horrible things that his ancestor had done to countless people? Kylo had once found himself idolizing every dark deed Darth Vader had done throughout his life time, the Empire he built and led, wanting to make The First Order exceed what that once grand fleet had been like. But now, now he wasn't sure. He was confused about what exactly he wanted. Now that he was the Supreme Leader and close to becoming the next Emperor of the galaxy Kylo wasn't sure if he could handle that much power or if he even wanted to. How many more lives would have to be destroyed to make the cause he had once believed so heavily into a reality?</p><p>Apparently one more life would have to pay for the sins of his selfishness today. And that was Rey's, but the more he stared at her in the patches of light in the room and the more he studied her the more curious he was to know more about the young woman before him. She held so much power but he hardly knew what her life had been like on Jakku. She had been lonely, that much he knew, he had felt her pain and hope for a family that would never return only for the reason because they were no longer there to come back for her. But what else was there about Rey the Scavenger? What were her hopes? What were her dreams? She had mentioned once that she wanted to travel and he shared that same desire, but just how much did she not know was out there? How much else could be done beyond the life of a struggling survivor in a desert waste? But he was about to sever her chances of ever seeing those unknown realities. Could he really do such a thing? (did he really have a choice?)</p><p>"Vader had someone to go back to, a son- a daughter. I've forsaken my family. I have no one left to turn back to." He murmured, almost mournfully as he slid silently through the dark to stand a few meters from where Rey now stood. He could almost see the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end as he approached her. She was afraid. And he knew that was the reason why he couldn't go back. No one wanted him anymore, even if they said other-wise. He was damaged, he was beyond repair, his mind too far gone in the direction of the darkness. It was too late. No one would want him back, not truly. There would always be doubt, always be suspicions of his intent, just like Luke held for him. So why even bother trying to turn back?</p><p>His hand had already started to grip his saber as he stared intently at the back of Rey's hairbuns, fighting the natures within him, the one that wanted to kill, the one that wanted power and the one that only wanted relief and peace. He didn't know where to get the latter, not in a way that wouldn't mean his own demise, so he did the only thing he knew left to do: destroy. And he ignited the red blade, feeling the air slice and their bond shake like an earthquake as he raised the saber up to strike. "This is the only way." He breathed out, almost pleadingly as the force he put behind the attack wasn't as much as it could have been, his other half holding back as he knew this would not be an easy kill, knowing who he was dealing with. Rey would fight back but he knew that before this fight was over, one of them would cease to be.</p><p>--</p><p>Rey turned around as she suddenly felt his presence behind him. Taken completely off guard by Kylo Rens whirlwind, the young woman quickly grabbed onto her hilt, now igniting her saber as well. The last time they have fought was in the training arenal on his fighter. This wasn't a practice. This was reality. And reality sometimes hurt more than any word ever could. Once again Kylo Ren had betrayed had. And once again she had been foolish enough to believe in Ben Solo. Pathetic enough to genuinely think that there was a chance he would change. She hated how much she hold onto the idea of a person that barely existed. She hated how a murderer had made her feel more than anyone else ever did. Mad at herself, Rey pressed her lips tight together, her eyes now lit up in anger as she looked back to Ren. Part of her was afraid to once again lose control like she did in their training, yet a small part of her knew that it would be the only chance to survive. Unsure of how to tackle the battle, Rey did not have much time to think about her next actions, as she was busy focusing on defending Rens moves. She felt their bond shaking, as their sabers kept on clashing together. It felt like the force around them was burning. Like their connection was suddenly cracking. Like Ren had somehow torn it apart.</p><p>Their fighting style was what one could consider fast paced. As of yet, neither of them had used stronger skills through the force. It was a simple back and forth between the two sabers. Blue and Red flashes colliding. Setting sparks in the air, as their blades continuously clashed.</p><p>Rey started to doubt how much more she could take. She found herself gasping for air, as their sabers were still fighting for power. She felt herself slowly becoming the weak one as Rens moves started to get rather complex. This time he was not messing around. This time Rey was the scared one. Not of her powers, but solely of his. What she had seen so far of the dark lord, had been a small part of his power. She She knew there were things he could do with the dark side of the force, that she probably couldn't withstand. Not until she would channel her dark side emotions. But as she had learned previously, all of those came with a great risk.</p><p>She wouldn't let Kylo Ren kill her. But at the same time, she also did not want to kill him. </p><p>--</p><p>Their sabers collided in an explosion of stars and cyber electrons as Kylo revealed his true intentions. She must have known this had been coming for her. She could only refuse him so many times before he finally realized that if she wasn't with him she was against him which made her his enemy. Then the added bonus of killing her was that he would be free to rule, blindly trusting Darth Sidious, believing in his probably false promises. So blinded was Ren that he couldn't see the signs right in front of him that Rey was one of the only few people left that believed in him, believed in the goodness left somewhere inside. It was only her, his mother and perhaps Chewbacca (though with the wookie way he might not ever forgive him for Han's death). No one else did, no one else would, not unless Kylo repented and turned away from what he had done to hurt his former friends, his family and countless strangers who feared his name. But now, now he was crushing that hope and once he had her out of the way he could finally start anew, with a proper reign, with proper power.</p><p>Kylo saw the anger in Rey's eyes as she met him stroke for stroke, his aim switching from side to side, high to low as he tried to get around her, his darkness pushing him further than he had ever gone with her. This was not him testing the waters, this was not them training for pleasure, but a real, solid fight to the end. Even still, she was impressive but this time Kylo didn't let himself be distracted by the dark energy he felt around her as she fought back. Gritting his teeth, Kylo forced her backwards, climbing over abandoned dusty chairs and tables as he maneuvered them blindly in the dark. But eventually they triggered the door hatch leading out onto the open patio roof. He could sense Rey growing weaker and he knew she probably hadn't killed anyone (not including stormtroopers if she did), so to think she would find it easy to strike him down if she saw the chance was laughable. Besides, killing was not the Jedi way. A forsaken practice for Kylo as he easily pressed toward her, both of them outside the house now into the moon basked night.</p><p>His red to her blue glowed brighter in the chilled air as he swung toward her feet, watching as she was backed further toward the side of the building. There their blades interlocked and he used all his upper body strength to force her to lean backwards, dangerously close to going over the side. "You could beat me if you used your darkness Rey. You want to, don't you? To kill me." He sounded half-eager as he persuaded her to do what he almost wished she would do for them both. It would be a satisfying death, even if it meant he was bested by a girl a good few years younger than him. But he didn't care, she was strong, she was worthy to hold a light-saber. If anyone got the pleasure of ending his life he would want it to be her, he'd probably manipulated and hurt her the most out of everyone.</p><p>"Come on, we both know how this ends." And in that moment as Kylo Ren said those words he knew that he wouldn't, no, he couldn't kill her. But he knew that he could make her think he would and that in turn would make her strike him down. And Ben Solo, the one who was really holding all the cards in this match wanted that most of all. He wanted to be killed, to be finished before he hurt anyone else, most of all Rey. She could be the last hope of the galaxy and do this great thing, end the mighty, miserable life of Kylo Ren. And he would let her, but she would do it with or without the use of her dark powers because Ben would let her. Kylo would be no more and then Ben Solo could finally find peace, find rest, in the arms of whatever was on the other side to envelop him.</p><p>And so with these hidden thoughts, Ben pushed her further, just enough before letting himself relent just so in order to give her an opening, letting her disarm him, his saber flying out of his gloved hand into the wall, rolling away and he stood before her, panting, holding onto his arm in a show of defeat, the scar on the side of his face brimming white in the moon light as he gazed at her heavily, the eyes of a wounded monster, seeking to be set free, before her.<br/>--</p><p>Rey still had a hard time believing, that the man she had such a strong bond with was about to potentially kill her. She had been so foolishly stupid. Too young and naive. Getting attached to a person that did not even exist. Maybe he once did. Maybe not anymore. Maybe Ben Solo had been nothing more than a product of her own imagination. Something she so badly desired. Someone that cared about her. People always told her they knew her. No one did. No one except him. No one except the man who wanted to kill her. No one except Kylo Ren.</p><p>As their fight took them outside to the patio, Rey noticed how Kylo kept on forcing her close to the edge. Balacing herself with the help of the force, she continued to parry his hits with the saber, concentrating hard as she slowly felt her powers to fade. This was the longest Rey had ever been fighting. She was powerful, yet not very experienced. The young woman did not know how to do this and how to attack. She learned the Jedi ways of the force, which was mainly defense art. Killing though was on a whole other scale. The sounds of their sabers colliding evolved in the moonlight. A dance of red and blue lights illuminated the air. Hurt by every word coming out of his mouth, Rey had tried her best to hide her emotions. She should have known better. She should have listened to him. Holding onto nothing but the strength of the force, their eyes now locked together, as Rey was dangerously close to the edge. He asked her to kill her. She could not speak. What had felt like a lifetime, were only a couple of minutes. A couple of minutes that were about to change someones life. Rey knew that soon this all would be over. One of them would be gone. Their bond would be lost. Their connection nothing more but a memory. She gulped. She couldnt kill him. She hated that he now begged her too. She could tell, that he was waiting for her to unleash her dark forces. She started to think that he was just as scared about the next move as her. "We can stop this. We can end this right now.", Rey whispered quietly. Taking one last look into Kylo Rens eyes.</p><p>Being distracted by the light in the dark eyes of the leader, Rey once again found herself being dangerously close to falling straight into death. Lost in fear and in shock, the young woman now chose to disarm him. Something that worked surprisingly easy - almost as if he had purposely stayed away from defense. </p><p>--</p><p>She had her opening, a perfect shot. But she only stood there, fear and shock still set in her brown gaze, reflected blue from the saber. Ben didn't understand why she wasn't taking the chance he was giving her. Was she paralyzed by the act of it? Of killing him? (because she had not done so before?) Ben knew he had to do something because if they didn't act fast Kylo Ren might break the chains he was holding and take her life instead. But he couldn't let that happen, it had to be him. Him.</p><p>So with adept speed, Ben stepped once, twice toward her until he was close enough to touch her. His eyes were silently pleading with her now as he let these words sound from his quivering lips. "We can end it now, I'll help you." He whispered, fear and desperation in his voice as he covered her hand holding his grandfather's saber with his hand, curling his fingers around the hilt over her knuckles. Then he did it, he forced her hand forward into his mid-section, stepping forward at the same time into the self-inflicting attack. He barely got out a gasp as the pain enveloped him and he found himself staggering backwards, Kylo Ren finally defeated from a mortal wound by the one person who despised him most: himself.</p><p>Falling down onto the hard ground, Ben let out a hiss of air as he felt his chest heave, feeling his heart beating painfully inside his chest as he stared ahead, waiting for death, waiting for relief. It would come, he knew, but he didn't know how long until but at least it was definite. Nothing could save him now, no matter how much Rey might hope Ben Solo would live, he would perish along with the dark prince. That too would be his punishment. So, closing his eyes hard, Ben waited, his head leaning back against the side wall as he sat there waiting for Death to take him back home where he belonged.</p><p>--</p><p>For a moment Rey and Ben remained silent. She looked at him. He looked right back at her. They both knew it wouldn't be easy. They both knew they couldn't just simply let go. Their bond was too strong to be broken, no matter how hard they tried to deny it, they both knew it was true. Light could not exist without darkness. A dyad in the force. Lost in her thoughts, Rey couldn't help but keep staring at Kylo. Her eyes now were empty. Helpless, scared, hurt and yet hopeful at once. Perhaps their fight now was sober. Rey would not attack - and it seemed that neither would he. Standing across from each other, Kylo suddenly started to move. Without a warning he made his way swiftly towards the young woman. Stopping in front of her, whispering words that Rey couldn't quite understand. It suddenly all happened so quickly. Ren had placed her hand on his saber. Stabbing himself, him then tumbling down on the roof. What had felt like an eternity, was a split second only. She wanted to scream, but her words remained empty. Breathing was hard, she felt her legs shaken as she looked up to the sky. It felt like a part of her was slowly fading. The force energy around her started to weaken, she couldn't help but feel their connection slowly drifting apart. Why, Rey thought to herself. Knowing that there was no one to answer. She couldn't stop thinking of how he had made her kill him. How she was the one that did it, even if it wasn't on purpose. She had killed Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. The tears in her eyes told a million of stories. The pain in her heart unlike anything the scavenger had ever felt in her life. From this moment on, she realized she was broken. She didn't know how to continue without him. How to keep fighting without the only person who had ever truly cared about the no one she was.</p><p>"Stay with me.", Rey whispered as she slowly laid her hands on his chest. She knew she needed to go outside to see him. She knew she couldn't leave without trying. There was one thing, so powerful, only very few force users were capable of. "Ben." She felt the force field around them evolving. Gently pressing down on his body, she now transferred some of her life source to him. Luke and Leia had previously warned Rey about using force healing powers. They said it was dangerous, but nothing scared her more than the sole thought of his death. "Don't go.", she screamed under tears, as she now laid down next to his body. Wrapping her arms around him, as she concentrated on being one with the force. This needed to work. It simply had to. Even if saving him meant putting her own life at risk. She started to notice herself getting weaker. Resting her head on his chest, feeling the tear soaked fabric of his coat on her cheeks. "Wake up, please", the woman spoke quietly. Be with me, Rey now prayed to the force. </p><p>--</p><p>The dying man didn't know how much time passed until it came, the light, the darkness, shutting him in until he breathed his last. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, but when it did come he knew he only felt emptiness, a hollow hole in his chest where his soul began to leave his body. The force seemed to leave him, abandon him, and he felt like he was falling without feeling, outside himself, but there was no more pain, no more anything. Was this what death felt like? (or didn't feel like?) But then, as quick as a rushing tide coming over him, Ben felt his eyes snap open but he wasn't on the ground anymore, he didn't know exactly where here even was as he lifted his head. When he looked down at himself he noticed he was stripped down to his black shirt and pants, light-weight, almost weightless as he then heard the murmurings around him. At first he was fearful, believing it to be the voices of the Emperor here to torment him for all eternity but then they became softer, warmer and he knew that he was in a place between worlds, where the Force was strongest. He stood up slowly and heard the faint whisper.</p><p>Be with me</p><p>He couldn't tell who said it but when he turned around, feeling the presence of something or someone, he saw a man, a few years younger than him with dark brown curls and tan skin. His eyes stared at him, piercing yet soft.</p><p>"Where am I?" Ben spoke first, more concerned about that than the stranger infront of him. Yet he should have known that this person he saw now was more connected to him than he knew.</p><p>"Paradise. Or well, a step below it." The man said, his voice light yet holding a certain tension that Ben also felt. "You probably already know this but you died. Now you're suspended, between Death and Life." He explained while taking some steps towards him. Ben should have been defensive but he felt strangely calmer as the figure stepped closer. As he came closer a veil seemed to be lifted and Ben felt a foreign yet familiar presence wash over him and he instantly knew who he was speaking to.</p><p>"Grandfather?" Ben could hardly believe he was actually standing here infront of him. Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, one in the same.</p><p>"Please, that makes me feel so old." Anakin said, smiling sheepishly as he stood right infront of Ben now. "Simply Anakin will do."</p><p>Ben felt speechless now, the picture of his ancestor not living up to anything he had ever imagined. Why was he so... youthful? And whimsical even? Ben didn't understand, why had the force brought this man to him?</p><p>"Why didn't you come to me sooner? Why did you let him make me believe it was you?" Ben now asked, finding his voice after moments of silence.<br/>Anakin looked tired as he looked past him for a while. "I never stopped trying to reach out to you. But Palpatine, he shut me out of your mind. But sometimes I got through just a little... do you remember?" He looked to Ben and the young former Jedi realized he did remember. All the times he felt the pull to the light, was that him? It must have been.</p><p>"Yes... But I, I still don't understand, why are you here? Why am I not-" Ben couldn't finish the sentence but he didn't have to.</p><p>"-Suffering for all eternity? Ben, do you still doubt the force?" He asked gently, placing his hand upon his shoulder which he felt like a warm pressure. "You aren't as lost as you believe yourself to be." He smiled faintly, as if recalling a moment in his past where he had thought the same thing. "Forgiveness is a powerful thing Ben. It can transform a life. But more, it can restore it." Anakin was wise beyond his apparent age and he seemed to be watching something Ben couldn't see, gently smiling before his gaze turned back to Ben's. "Now I think someone is waiting for you, better not keep her. Also, Ben? Do it right this time around."<br/>Ben was confused. What did he mean? Wait, was he... was he going back? But how? He had been mortally injured! There was no going back from that. "What do you mean-?" Before he could get the words finished Ben heard a new voice, very close that he couldn't yet see. He recognized the voice immediately. It was Rey and she sounded upset, mournful even and Ben realized as he found himself looking down that a faint opening had appeared at his feet that enabled him to see a bird's eye view of Tatooine and he saw Rey, along with his body, limp and lifeless. She was covering him and holding onto him as if he mattered, as if his death had affected her significantly and she was praying for his revival. Ben didn't understand it, couldn't possibly begin to believe that he deserved such a display of woeful affection that he found himself smiling for the first time in a long time.</p><p>"Rey." The words left him like a gentle breeze as he felt himself begin to feel sleepy and he closed his eyes and then it felt like he was being sucked through a tube down a long spiral staircase and he just like that he felt himself return. The world around him seemed to sound back into focus and he could hear the wind in the sand, a distant rafter slamming against a building from far away and he swore he could hear the stars singing in space as he slowly opened his eyes.<br/>He felt his chest, rising and falling slowly as his life breath reasserted itself and he felt the wetness on his coat and the pressure of Rey's body over his own. Ben raised his chin slightly, still feeling slightly weak before he began to lift his hand, placing it over the young woman's back, finding himself unable to speak yet, using this as his only current way to get her attention and to display his thankfulness that she was here, that she had somehow done the undo-able. She had brought him back. By some miracle the force had given her the strength to resurrect him. But what she had done miraculously of all was bring Ben Solo back to the light. And he could feel it- it was surrounding him now, and he wasn't sure if any of it was real. He just prayed he wasn't dreaming.</p><p>He stared at the side of her face, seeing the tear streaked stains, wanting to wipe them all away as he raised his head further, his body rising to sit up as he felt all at once relieved, shocked and something more, a feeling he hadn't felt in so long that could only be described as warm sweetness running down his neck and into his stomach that made him feel like jumping for joy. "Rey." He finally said, whispering her name as he stared at her through his lashes, a small little smile beginning to spread over the side of his face as he waited for her realization to kick in. He was alive. And it was because of her.<br/>--</p><p>Rey couldn't recall how long she just laid there. Eyes closed, praying to the force that it would be with her. That it would work. She couldn't lose the second half of her force bond. She couldn't lose Ben Solo before she had even properly met him. The young woman felt like she slowly was fading. Sharing her life source had taken its toll on her body. She was exhausted, but she couldn't give up. Praying to the force one more time, Rey suddenly felt a hand on her back. A touch so familiar yet foreign. She started shaking, he made it. He was alive. She felt the body next to her moving. She now sat up, so that Ben could as well. "Ben", she gasped as she realized he was real. "Ben.", she repeated soft spoken, as she now turned around and looked him right in the eyes. It seemed like he was still trying to familiar himself with his current surroundings. She heard his loud breath, before he quietly whispered her name. It sounded so different then all the other times he he had said it. So much more genuine, so honest, so true. This wasn't Kylo Ren speaking. This was Ben. And Bens way of saying her name sounded unlike anything else. She felt warm shivers running throughout her whole body, she couldn't hide the smile that suddenly spread all over her face. For the first time in a while Rey was happy. Feeling nothing but joy, as she now noticed him smiling as well. It was the first time that she saw the smile of Ben Solo. And frankly, it was the most beautiful smile Rey had ever seen in her life. She wanted to say something, let him know that she couldn't have bared the thought of living without him, but the presence of him left her speechless. Catching her breath, she now slowly placed her hand on his face. She needed to feel him. Make sure that he was real. That this wasn't just a illusion. That she had brought Ben back to live. "You're alive", She knew it wouldn't be easy. She knew eventually they'd need to talk things. About why he wanted to kill her. About the emperor. And about if he was finally going home. She had so many questions, but for now all she wanted was to be here with him. Not talking about what would be coming, not knowing where they'd go next. Just sitting under the moonlight sky with Ben Solo. Thinking that maybe the Stars would always align from now on. </p><p>--</p><p>Ben could feel her body begin to tremble and he wondered if it was from the shock or relief of seeing him alive again. (maybe both) He wondered if she had even known what she did to him were even possible. Had Luke or Leia told her about force healing? Ben had been able to do minor healing before when he was training in the Academy but nothing on the scale of what Rey had just performed. Ben also wondered if the fact she could even do this feat was enhanced by the bond they had in the force. Were their life forces connected even in death as in life? What little Ben knew of force bonds he had remembered hearing a legend that these rare force phenomena could even span time and space. (just what more was left to discover through their connection? Ben wondered).</p><p>The ordeal, from being stabbed and dying to being thrust back into his body via the force, had left Ben feeling both weary and enlivened all at the same time. He felt as if he could sleep for a week and run across water simultaneously. But he was alert enough to feel the strong emotions coming off of the woman next to him. She had gone from extreme duress to great elation in the span of seconds and he felt the force of it like a sound-wave off a ship going into hyperspace. Seeing the way she smiled at him, the first time he had seen one of true origin, took Ben's breath away. He continued to simply stare at her, simply memorized by her person and ability. He didn't deserve to be given this second chance, Ben knew that much, but being able to feel the joy of life as if he were experiencing it for the first time again was like drinking out of the Fountain of Youth. A literal part of himself had died and he knew that that part of himself was the one he had been trying to get away from all this time without even realizing it. The struggle with the darkness seemed to have been lifted from his shoulders, making him feel light as air and free from the burden the Dark had laid upon him. True, the guilt and regret was still ever on his mind but knowing that he could finally just breath without feeling like he was being torn in two was a blessing and relief. Instead of a sore pain pressing in on his chest he felt his heart hammering in a new and pleasant sort of way. He felt that now as he felt Rey place a hand over one side of his face. The action made him freeze, unsure of what any of it meant and not accustomed to feeling someone give him such close contact. (he had had less than none for the past many, many years as Kylo Ren) but it felt good, sending a warmth throughout his face that gave him new hope. The way Rey watched and held onto him made him feel like a man that mattered, a man who was loved and not alone. The two of them had been that way for so long, feeling like they didn't hold purpose or meaning, feeling so lost inside themselves (Ben most of all) but now it was like they had finally met half-way and were ready to face the galaxy together. And they would, Ben knew, and the thought of that, of the future, was heavy on his heart and it scared him but it also brought excitement. He knew that any future he had now would include this woman sitting close to him, and even if there was no one else who would befriend or face him on the other side of this war (which he hoped soon would be over), he wouldn't care because he knew if he had Rey he would never feel alone again.</p><p>After what seemed like eternity (but only a few precious seconds) of staring, Ben realized she was waiting for him to speak and he hoped he didn't sound as overwhelmed as he felt when he replied these first words: "Because of you." Ben searched her eyes, feeling lost in their brown depths before adding. "You saved me, but not just from death. From everything." He confessed, feeling the ache of his past deeds but not the shadow of the man that had been vanquished. He gazed down, suddenly feeling frightened of her gaze, of what she must be thinking, how foolish he was, what a foolish man he had made himself become for the sake of power and greed. "I don't understand. Why did you do it?" He asked her, tentatively but desperate to know. Ben might have suspected why but he was too frightened to let the reason even be real, if it were, or to even give it hope because it had let him down before. He had to know though, why this mattered, why he mattered- to her, to someone he hardly knew but deep inside felt like he had known since he was a youngling. How could she give him, a man who had done so much bad, so much evil, a chance to live again? Did she truly have that much trust and faith in him? Whatever the case, Ben knew he couldn't ruin this second gift of life. This time he would make something meaningful out of it, this time, he would find a reason to love why he was here.<br/>--</p><p>Rey had not only healed him. It seemed like she had healed the dark part in him too. Electrified by his words and his presence, Rey now moved her hand slightly upwards. Gently caressing his face, brushing some of his hair away to the side. There was so much she wanted to say. So much she wanted to tell him but couldnt. No words would have been enough to describe the butterflies she got in her stomach. The way he looked back at her, the way he couldn't stop the slight smile on his face. It all made her feel things. Things Rey had never felt before in her life. "I wasn't sure if it would work. I never tried force healing before.", Rey now explained to break up the silence. Feeling slightly embarrassed, as she noticed that her hand was still gently brushing his hair. She didn't know how those physical contact things worked. She's never been that close to someone before in her life. "Without your family i wouldn't have been able to do it." She smiled. Wondering if Ben had any interest in going home to his mother. She could only imagine Leias reaction. The joy on her face and some snarky comment. Wrapping her arms around him, realizing that not all hope was lost. If Ben wanted to Rey would take him. They could fly home together. Perhaps he could have a fresh start with the others as well.</p><p>Thrown slightly off guard by his question, Rey stuttered, didn't know what to say. There was no reasonable explanation as to why exactly she did it. Why she saved him. A murderer. "It wasn't a choice.", the young woman started, trying to keep her eyes locked with Bens. "It was a feeling." The voice of the young woman cracked with emotion. Suddenly she got nervous. He's always had that effect on her. Rey understood that Ben deserved answers. But answering was hard since the scavenger didn't even know the answer herself. She didn't know how to do this. How to talk about feelings. How to emotionally open up to someone. "... i'm glad it was right." Rey frowned as she heard herself speak. She didn't even answer his question. She realized, she wasn't good at those things. She couldn't possibly tell him, how hurt she was after she thought she had lost him and for a split second only the thought of instead gently laying her lips on his seemed like a much better option - at least until Rey realized that that would probably only embarass her more.</p><p>After a few further seconds of silence, Rey now silently hold onto his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Ben" she whispered quietly, as she first looked to him and then up to the stars. She didn't know what the future would bring or where they would be going from here. But all that did not matter. Not now. All that mattered was that he was alive. And that he was right next to her. </p><p>--</p><p>While Rey moved her hand against his face, gently brushing some hair that had fallen over his gaze Ben felt like melting molten lava, wherever her skin was in contact with his it burnt him but it didn't cause pain. He wanted to reach up and press her fingers further against his flushed skin but he was afraid, afraid of what it might come off as. With what she was doing to him, he wasn't sure if she even meant for his reaction to be what it was, these feelings of heat and desire he felt so keenly. He was so starved from touch that he found himself craving more of it now that Kylo Ren's stoic demeanor wasn't here to guard against such previously unwanted advances. But Ben didn't want to risk losing what he had now, just this little bit of contact was enough to fill the empty void in his heart. The affect of her light was like a halo surrounding him that he didn't want to ever see doused again, not by him, nor by anything. That was the best thing about the young woman before him, her glow, her radiance. Nothing in the galaxy could compare to the beauty it gave her. And she was beautiful.</p><p>He understood what she said, knowing all along that Rey possessed natural abilities in the force. She probably had the skill to perform other force abilities that would have taken a trained Jedi years to perfect where it took Rey only one time to master. One could argue it was her lineage but despite who Ben had in his ancestry it still took him time to learn new skills. No, Ben was convinced Rey was simply given this special gift by the force to be able to know things without having to practice. It was her affinity toward the light, more than what even the most well-intentioned Jedi of the past could have held, that made her able to do these incredible things. Ontop of that their force dyad enabled them both to do things beyond comprehension. Distantly, Ben wondered if Rey had shared the knowledge of their bond to anyone. Only Snoke (or well, Palpatine) had known about it on his end; but had Rey been open enough with their strange connection to share it with her friends? With his mother? Or was she afraid of what they would think, ashamed to admit that she had this special bond with the one others saw as a monster? Ben wouldn't blame her if she kept it secret. And selfishly, he wanted only them to know, to be their little secret that no one else could use against them. For if someone knew how powerful they were together, how much more would they try to force them apart in order to destroy them both? So then Ben was convinced that whatever was ahead for either of them, they would be stronger together than apart.</p><p>When Rey mentioned his family he felt a pain in his chest, like someone had placed a hot iron over his heart. He thought of his mother, the image of her coming into his mind as he thought of what she would think, say or do when she saw he had finally come back to the light. When he finally came home to her. Ben was frightened of the scene, ashamed and embarrassed and heavily guilty to have to face his mother, look her in the eye and tell her he was sorry for everything he had done to hurt her, to hurt their family. Killing his father... the most painful regret of all, Ben wasn't sure if even he could face up to the fact without crumbling like a boy of twelve infront of her. Could she forgive him? Did he ever deserve to be forgiven of that deadly sin? He didn't think so, but he knew that that moment would come and he had to be ready to face whatever consequence came from it.</p><p>"They're your family as much as mine now." He told her, strengthened by the fact she had become connected to him even outside their bond. With the little time Rey had known Han, he could tell that she had had some kind of affect on him. Though he regrets that day on the bridge with all his heart, Ben knew that Rey must have been a key component in allowing him to face him one last time like that, to try and bring his only son back home. Maybe, if Ben had been stronger than Kylo Ren that night, he would have been able to lay down his cursed saber and embrace his father like he longed to do. How different the outcome of things might have been if he had only listened to his family, realized how much they cared for him. Would their family had been restored if he had made the choice to come back then? He would never know that answer, but he knew he still had one parent he could still embrace. He had never stopped loving his mother, and though he might have been closer to her than his dad, Ben knew he could never lay a hand on her as he had done Han. Yet he had still let her get hurt in other ways and for that he could never forgive himself.</p><p>Ben gave her a curious look after her words. A feeling? He wanted to know what she meant by that further but he could sense her own hesitation and confusion. He didn't want to say or do anything that might further that in her so he simply nodded, smiling a bit more, content with just the fact she had saved him and seemed to trust that he was who he wanted to be at this moment, Ben Solo. "Thank you for never giving up on me." He murmured, knowing he couldn't give her enough gratitude and that he would always owe her his life, but he knew that even before she had done this great thing for him he would have given it anyway. Just like he knew he couldn't harm her before, couldn't take her life, he knew that he had to protect her by taking his own. It seemed right at the time, but now he knew he could have simply laid down his weapons and given into her, saved them both the heartache that death brought, but he knew, somehow he knew, that this had to take place in order for him to fully be rid of his other, darker half. And then seeing his grandfather... that had been something he never thought would have happened to him. But to know that even his ancestor had been able to see it right that he give life another go, well, that was simply beyond anything he could have ever imagined.<br/>Feeling Rey's hand in his own and the slight squeeze and her words Ben couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh. The action left him tickled and feeling better than he had been before. He loved the way Rey could make him feel so carefree, so unabashed. Though it was rather awkward to think he was meeting her for the first time after seeing her on multiple occasions before Ben felt as if he owed it to her to oblige. "Pleasure is all mine." He replied, gaining the confidence to bring the hand that had been resting on her back to the one she still had placed on his face (but not before removing the black glove that seemed more a hindrance than a shield to him now), interlocking their fingers against his skin. Ben seemed to smile wider as he placed his other now bare hand on her shoulder, fingertips brushing the flesh there, feeling tingle shocks shooting down his spine as he felt her for the first time. He could feel their bond through the force seem to expand in approval as he let out a simple sigh, watching the side of her face as she stared up at the stars. "It feels as if you've known me longer than what we've known. It's like I've dreamed of this moment before and am simply re-living it with a new set of eyes." He told her, contemplative, as he finally let his gaze travel up toward the slowly changing sky up ahead. It seems dawn was now slowly beginning to break on the horizon, a new day ahead, a new start.<br/>--</p><p>Rey couldn't believe her own eyes, when she noticed Bens laughter. Something that less than a few hours ago seemed almost possible. "You're...laughing.", Rey now smiled radiantly. It felt so good seeing Ben Solo happy. She felt her heart melting and jumping for joy all at once, a feeling that only intensified as she now noticed Bens hand interlocking with hers. She couldn't describe the feeling that now flowed through her body. A rush of heat, relief and desire and so much more all at once. This wasn't a dream. This was reality. And reality was so much more beautiful than Rey could have ever imagined. "I would like Ben to stick around." Rey now jokingly added. Laughing together with him, yet feeling a teardrop of happiness running down on her cheek. She didn't want to lose him again. She hoped he would stay. Forever. And she wouldn't let anyone stop them from that. She didn't care what Finn, Poe and the others would think. She'd proof to them that Ben was a good one. She would protect him, come hell or high water. She was ready to proof them all wrong.</p><p>"Maybe i did.", Rey answered quietly, feeling goosebumps as Ben now touched her shoulder. It was different then any other physical contact she had ever experienced. Different then when Finn or Poe rested their hands there. Magnetizing. The kind of touch that made her crave more. The kind she didn't realize she had missed. "Maybe we've known each other in a previous life. Maybe thats why our bond is so strong.", Rey sighed as she started to smile. The force worked in many mysterious ways. They'd never know, but maybe that was for the better. The mystery is what made it special. Not knowing was what made it unique. They knew that their bond was different to anyone elses. And that no one could ever take that from them. With her head still turned skywards, Rey started counting the stars. All of the different planets she hasn't been to. That she'd maybe now go to. With him. "Ben?", she now quietly whispered, noticing that he seemed pretty lost in the different illuminations as well. She wondered what he was thinking. But this time she did not want to use the force to read the depth of his mind. "Remember when you told me, you wanted to travel?" Asking softly yet eager, as she was imagining them flying somewhere unknown. Enjoying life while discovering a new planet. Getting to know one another, a fresh start away from all the angst and the pain. Rey and Ben. Like they were destined to be. This was just their beginning. "I was thinking, after i go see the emperor, we could....-", she started, breathing heavily as she slowly started to lose the rest of her words. Not that any more words were necessary. She knew he knew what she meant and she hoped that he would agree.</p><p>And with the slow rise of the two suns above them, Rey now turned sideways to Ben. His face was glowing in the binary sunrise. The morning glow slowly enlightened the deserted land. <br/>--</p><p>Seeing Rey's somewhat perplexed response to his laughter made Ben go quiet, a frown dropping along his face as he wondered if he had done something wrong. Was that a proper thing to laugh at? He now felt self-conscious yet then he might have guessed she was a bit surprised that the lips of the once Kylo Ren were dispelling chuckles of joy. And it was true, he hadn't laughed in so long, not a genuine, whole-hearted laugh that made his body flutter with sensation. "What? Too soon...?" Ben asked now, seriously as he awkwardly bit his lip, a long-held habit of Ben Solo's whenever he felt nervous or confused. Nevertheless, he knew Rey never meant anything she said to hurt him, not Ben anyway. He could only let out a small sheepish grin show at her next comment about him sticking around. He didn't think he had a choice in the matter anymore, he definitely would stay if it meant she would stick around with him. Plus, he could get addicted to her laugh, how it tinkered over his ears making him feel even more happiness just to see he had made her that way.</p><p>Her words about as she too contemplated the reason for their bond made Ben wonder if maybe because of who their ancestors were, both their grandfathers, perhaps that was why they were destined to share this connection now. But he didn't want to dwell on the reasons, only be grateful that their bond even existed and that it helped in bringing him back to the right side. And so with that Ben continued to gaze up at the stars, his mind drifting to the future, wondering how they would end this war for the Resistance, and even, if the Resistance, Rey's friends, would be willing to accept his help. Maybe he would just simply have to help stop the First Order with Rey's help without getting their approval, just so he could have something to offer for his redemption when they did finally bring the First Order to justice. Maybe he could use his former alias to trick his former cohorts to lower their shields while he gave word to Rey who would inform the Resistance to come and fire upon them. Plus, Ben knew all the codes to the Stardestroyers, to the blueprints and key codes to the credits the First Order used, maybe if he could get that information to the rebels before the First Order suspected his treason he could further aid his cause...</p><p>Then Rey was nudging him from his thoughts and he gave a small 'hmm?' to let her know he was listening. He could hear and sense the hesitation in her voice along with an eager underlying that made him finally tear his gaze away from the galaxies and look into her eyes. At once he felt at peace, forgetting the plans he had made for the war and focusing on her radiating features and melodic voice. He admired so many things about Rey but perhaps most of all he loved the sound of her voice as it rose and fell in inflection. She held a unique accent that made her even more remarkable in Ben's eyes. He stared at her patiently as she asked him about a conversation they'd had before. He did recall it, when they'd talked aboard the ship where he was keeping her as his prisoner (a time he wished he would quickly forget), and she spoke of wanting to travel. He too desired it. From the co-pilot's seat of his father's ship he had learned to fly and when he gained that ability to soar through the stars all he wanted to do was explore. He only nodded, letting her continue as he wondered what she was about to ask him.</p><p>Two things she said made Ben Solo give heavy pause. First, the fact she wanted to go see the Emperor, apparently by herself, was something the young renewed Jedi didn't want to think about. He had seen first hand how the dark lord could be, how manipulative and evil his motives were, how he could sneak like a serpent into your thoughts and get you to believe almost anything. That's what he'd done to Ben and he feared he too would try to sway Rey, use her affinity to the darkness to push her to do something she would regret. Plus, Palpatine wanted her dead! (a fact Rey did not yet realize) He couldn't let her go after him by herself, and even then, he didn't want to give that evil man the opportunity to corrupt her even if they faced him together (which would be the only way they would be able to defeat him, Ben was sure). But then the other part of what she said, or what she didn't say, made Ben feel things he was still trying to get used to feeling. Being wanted, for example. And what Rey was implying, was that she wanted to travel the galaxy with him. After it was all said and done and they were able to live in relative peace, she wanted him to stay with her. Him. He could hardly wrap his mind around the prospect.</p><p>"Rey, I would go anywhere with you." He told her after a good few seconds, bringing their hands down so that they rested between them now. Ben gazed into her face, studying it, memorizing every detail as he tried to believe she was even real or possible. How did he deserve to be in the presence of one so humble, so warm-hearted as Rey? She really had little idea of how high he truly placed her in his mind. There could never be another person in the universe who gave him so much hope- made him feel this much happiness and calm than her. He was sure that it would take him a long time to even be still without her in the same room. Whenever they were apart, even though he knew they were only a force contact away, he would still feel so lost without her physical presence like it surrounded him now, bringing him warmth and purpose. And so with those contented thoughts Ben let his other hand raise up, so tentatively (nearly hesitant), to rest against her lower jaw, putting pressure there and on her inner neck as he felt her pulsating heart beat through that touch and from within their bond. He focused on it only as he found his gaze sweep over her eyes, down around her cheeks and finally to her lips, pausing ever so slightly to stare at their perfect curves before smiling ever so gently. He let his hand caress the base of her cheek before he finally withdrew, feeling the heat between them and feeling all but overwhelmed at how such brief yet intimate contact affected him so until it felt like he was seeing stars.</p><p>"When you face the Emperor...." Ben now began, his face turning solemn as he stared her directly in the eyes. "I want to be with you." He knew that it would mean his death sentence as well but he wanted to be sure he was close by in case Palpatine decided to try and enter her mind and sway her to do something awful. "He's unlike any enemy either you or I have faced." He continued, staring down at their hands, still interlocked before letting out an almost exasperated sigh. "He gets inside your head, convinces you of half-truths that make you believe a lie. He used... he used my grandfather's, Vader's voice, to make me believe I was working with his approval but it was all a farce." He confessed, the tension in his face returning as he realized how foolish and weak he had been to believe the lies inside his own mind. "You're strong I know to resist but.. Rey, he wants you dead." And this was the kicker. "He wanted me to kill you for him. A final test. Then after that he would have given me the power to end the war. He has hundreds of Stardestroyers at his disposal that are ready on his command to destroy anyone that gets in the way of his new Empire." Ben felt a tremor of fear and hatred course through his blood as he glanced up at Rey, trying to judge her emotions as he let his hand grasp hers more steadily. "Promise me you won't face him alone." He whispers, clutching the fabric of her side protectively as his other hand held onto her palm, hoping she knew that he would face anything and everything with her. She wasn't alone anymore, and he would make sure she would never feel that way again in the face of anything.<br/>--<br/>When Rey mentioned Palpatine, Ben suddenly gasped. He didn't seem to like the thought of her going to find him, but what other choice did they have? They couldn't possible let a monster like him run free in the galaxy. He needed to be stopped. As soon as she could. Where is he hiding? Rey asked quietly, noticing the worry that was all over Bens face. She smiled, she didn't want him to worry. But in a wa it also made her heart skip a beat. For Ben and even for Kylo, she had always been more than a "no one". Not because of her ways with the force, but because of who she was as person. And Rey had always felt the same way for him. Just like Ben, Rey had told nobody about the special bond that they shared. Not even Leia knew about how deeply connected they were. Not because Rey didn't trust Leia. But because she didn't want to remind her of what her son had become. She and Rey had never talked much about Kylo - but now, that Ben was back in the light, perhaps that would be a whole different story.</p><p>Bens next words made Rey choke up. The way he said them. Rey knew that he was telling the truth. Indeed he would go anywhere with her - and she would go anywhere he wanted with him. She didn't want to go on any further explorations (except on the mission to end the emperor) without him. He'd always be there from now. And she was completely okay with that. "I would like that". Rey smiled, resting her hands against his as they rested between them, trying to find a better response, but couldn't find the right words. There were no words that could describe how Rey felt when she was thinking of Ben and their future. Needless to say, she was excited about what was yet to come. Ben had no idea just how much he meant to the scavenger. How he was so much more than just a dark lord that had turned to the lightside. How he was so much better than anyone she had ever known in her life. In every single way imaginable. And maybe someday she would find the strength and right way to tell him. Hypnotized by his touch, Rey closed her eyes for a second. She felt her heart beating as she now placed her spare hand on his back. "I want to explore the Galaxy with you, Ben.", she whispered, caressing his back as she lost herself once more in his eyes. She'd never known a man so beautiful. She wished that he could see himself through her eyes, only to realize just how special he was. That he was more than a no one. That he was the one that mattered the most.</p><p>"Impossible., Rey shook her head. "I almost lost you." She started, gently pressing her hand against his. "I can't let that happen again." She knew Ben meant well and she knew that he would not give her a choice, if it was up to Rey however she'd rather go by herself. Not because she didn't want Ben. But because she didn't want him in danger. The emperor would be angry at him. Knowing that he had failed his mission to kill her. Wanting to kill him now instead. Rey could not let that happen. She wouldn't and eventhough she knew, that he'd come either way, she at least needed to try. "I'm going without you" Determined to end him alone, she now looked back up to the sky. "I need to do this, Ben", she quietly whispered. "Alone." Perhaps it was foolish. Quite naive even. The sheer thought of killing the emperor. Rey knew that she was nowhere near strong enough for that fight. It was the light in her that urged her to try. She needed to go see her Grandfather. She needed to know the whole truth. Where was she from and who were her parents? The young woman had questions and he better was ready to answer. Quite frankly, Rey did not know much about Palpatine yet. She didn't know how strong, dangerous and lethal he was. Rey surely was reckless, one could say even irresponsible for wanting to pay him a visit alone. "If you come with me, he'll kill you. You need to go home to Leia. I'll meet you there afterwards." Her last words were quiet. What if she would not return? She wasn't scared of being swayed to the dark side. She was scared of a war she knew she wouldn't be able to win. </p><p>--</p><p>Ben remained silent when Rey asked him the whereabouts of Palpatine. He couldn't tell her right then, not when she seemed so hellbent on going to face him alone. And in his state he didn't want to risk telling her and not being able to stop her from flying off then and there. They both needed to rest and they both needed to stop the Emperor, in whatever way that might be. But first they had to stop, regain their energies and think about a strategy. Between the two of them Ben was probably the most tactical and he hoped Rey would be able to slow down enough in her emotions to understand the importance of taking one's time. He wanted this war ended as much as she did now (and for the right reasons) but they had to be smart.</p><p>However her next soothing words made him smile again. She really was the most wonderful thing in his life right now. And he didn't want to lose her. But the more she spoke about wanting to go off alone made him more nervous and fearful. She was making a classic Jedi mistake, thinking with one's emotions and not the head. He was surprised he had remembered that lesson, having done the opposite as Kylo Ren for so long. Though he knew some of that emotional energy would do her good, it would ultimately blind her and he didn't want her falling down a path she couldn't come back from. She would need him there to be an extra shield and protection. Plus, their bond, it was one of the strongest things they had going for them now. They had used it quite effectively against Snoke's red guard and he was sure now that they were both in the light they would be able to dish out double damage. But Rey was being stubborn and Force knows he could be just as well. But he didn't want to fight her on this with an angry spirit, that was too much like his former self. He had to be reasonable with her, yer firm, but not angry.<br/>"Rey..." He didn't know what he could say to convince her that they would be better together. Maybe they needed some time to themselves before either one of them went off in either direction. And as much as Ben wanted to see his mother he knew that he had to end the war before that happened to have something to come back to her with other than his guilt and regrets.</p><p>Taking her chin gently, Ben pulled her face to angle to his gaze again, catching her almond eyes before sending her a soft yet determined smile. "You're still so stubborn." He said, his voice admiring as well as slightly exasperated. "But you know that it would be unwise to go alone. You know as much as I do that we're stronger together." He added to her gently, dropping his hand from her face and gazing over her. "We can beat him if we work together. That is the only way." Ben grasped her hand again in his and squeezed it firmly. "I know you want more answers but he will only give you lies. Don't let him tarnish the memory of your parents, of what they did to protect you." He whispered, leaning closer, wanting to urge her to believe in the truth of what he was saying. They would beat him if they stayed together, as one mind, as one body in the force. He wouldn't let her down, he would protect her and he knew she would protect him. Whatever happened he knew that even if he did die at least he did it protecting the one person he cared about most.</p><p>"We should probably rest before we make any plans to go anywhere." He said after awhile, glancing up at the skies, seeing the twin suns rising steadily, making him squint slightly. "Let's go inside. I think I can get the power back on in this place." He told her, wanting to focus on something he knew he could do and not wanting to worry about the future for now. He sat up further, feeling his sore muscles resisting his movements before glancing at Rey, knowing he would need her assistance to stand.<br/>--<br/>Ben remained silent when Rey asked about Palpatines hideout. She knew he wouldn't give in so quickly. He was just as stubborn as her. Still Rey wondered, what exactly the dark lord was hiding. Where in the Galaxy could he have found a place so far away hidden that no one would notice? Her thoughts now strayed away back to Kloss. She wondered if the others by now noticed her disappearance - they probably did, they probably wondered. In a way Rey felt bad, she knew the others would worry. That being said, she also knew, that they would have never let her go off to meet with Kylo alone. Not after what had happened the last time. Finn had said, he'd never want her anywhere near that Sith man again. Kind of ironic. Coming from him an ex stormtrooper. In a way it was good, that the others didn't know where Rey currently was and that she soon would be facing Palpatine (alone or with Ben). At least this way, she could protect them. At least this way, Finn and Poe would be save. There was no way those two and the others could figure out Palpatines whereabouts before Rey. There was no way the others would be going off to face him alone.</p><p>She knew Ben was right. She knew they could only defeat him together. But like Ben said, she was stubborn. She didn't want Ben to get hurt. "I know.", Rey let out a sigh, slightly smiling at Ben before she looked down at the sand. "I'm just afraid.", She added, avoiding Bens gaze. "I can't let him hurt you", she said quietly before she looked back up to Ben. A few weeks ago, she was scared to show Ben her emotions. Suddenly it all felt so natural. like they both realized that they could fully and one hundred percent trust and rely on each other. It wasn't just their bond anymore. It was more. It was raw, true and genuine connection. A connection that Rey never had with anyone else.</p><p>"You're right. We should rest.", she agreed as she watched Ben sat up further and glancing at her to seek her assistance. Without any further ado, Rey now stood and reached her hands out to Bens in order to help him stand up."You must be exhausted." And so was she. They both were in need of some sleep. And in some kind of way, the thought of going to fall asleep next to Ben Solo, gave Rey a warm feeling inside. From now on, she wasn't alone alone anymore. And neither was he. </p><p>--<br/>Ben was glad that Rey was a genuinely caring and selfless person. She was thinking about others before her own well being and she reminded him of Luke in many ways. His uncle had been self-sacrificial and put others before himself, especially in his youth and time with the first Rebellion. But that had waned a bit over the years and he had lost himself. Ben knew that Rey would always hold a caring, thoughtful heart. It was one of the things he admired most about her.</p><p>He smiled slightly at her words, another trait he liked about her. She wasn't afraid to show her own weaknesses or admit to them. Some people couldn't even stand the thought of showing their pitfalls. Kylo Ren had been like that but Ben Solo was not a man that denied he had weaknesses. In fact, he had plenty he was proud to admit. "I am too." He told her softly before thinking this to her thru their bond. I don't want to lose you</p><p>When she stood and offered her hand to him he took it without hesitation. Standing with her, Ben felt slightly dizzy as he finally was able to be on his own two feet ever since the trip to the near-after life. His gaze adjusted right after awhile and he took a few steps, his eyes falling to the ground and naturally being drawn to the dark hilt of his saber that had rolled away before. He hesitated briefly before stooping down to pick it up, feeling the weight of the weapon in his hand and wishing he could simply crush it, this saber that had caused so much death and destruction. But he only held it firmly and carried it by his side before looking back at Rey and giving her a solemn smile. "I'll dispose of this properly soon." He told her before going toward the side door, ducking his head inside.</p><p>His hand felt for the light-switch, not expecting it to work as he flicked it on. Nothing. He moved further in, using the light from the windows to get around before subconsciously taking off his outer cloak, finding the extra layers suffocating as Ben Solo before laying them on the back of a chair. He looked back at Rey briefly before saying: "The fuse box should be around here somewhere." He had a knack for electronics and so easily found where the box was located and in less than a minute he had re-wired the circuit board and brought light back on inside the house.</p><p>Smiling proudly to himself, Ben dusted off his hands before stepping back inside the main room where Rey was. "You can take the bedroom, there should still be a mattress there and I can take the couch in here." He offered, naturally assuming she would want to rest in separate rooms before finding himself suddenly feeling awkward standing infront of her. He suddenly didn't know what to say. Good night? (Force, it wasn't even night time and they were about to go to sleep!). See you soon? Suddenly he felt very self-aware. There really had never been a situation like this between them before where they were sharing the same area in peace. He could feel tension but it wasn't the same as when he was with her as Kylo but a different kind, a more... electric kind.<br/>--<br/>ou wont., Rey thought back to him as she slightly nodded. He would always have her. Just like she would always have him. They weren't just one in the force. They now were a Team and maybe so much more.</p><p>Rey saw Ben picking up his old saber. "Where is your old one?", she asked, as she wondered how his lightsaber looked. Each saber was unique and had its own kind of story. Rey quickly had learned, that by looking at someones saber, you could actually learn a lot about the owner themselves.</p><p>As Rey followed Ben back into the building, she had to concentrate hard to get rid of the flashbacks from when they were fighting, that were starting to run wild in her mind. When Ben came back into the main room, Rey couldn't hide the proud smile on her face. She didn't expect Ben to be a technician. She wondered what else she didn't know about him. "Always good for a surprise.", Rey said impressed as she looked at the lights in the room. "I don't think anyone has been here for a while...". As a scavenger, Rey was used to roam around abandoned buildings and houses. She found them interesting. Most of the time she also found something useful to take. "If this house would have been on Jakku, it would have been a goldmine.", she said. "I always dreamed about finding big places like this. There's so much here that could still be used." Rey couldn't help but let her past self come through a little. She thought of her home. Of Jakku. And how she somehow missed parts of that life. "We should take some things before we leave tomorrow.", She now suggested, before Ben offered to sleep on the couch. "Okay., Rey answered. Just like Ben she didn't really know what to say. For a moment (a few seconds that felt like long minutes) the two of them quietly stood there. None of them moved, their eyes were still locked. "I'll see you later.", Rey added to break the silence. She felt the tension between the two of them rising. She didn't need the force to know that Ben felt the same. Rey wasn't used to those kind of emotions. She knew that Ben wasn't either. But maybe this was part of the reason why they were so incredibly strong. It wasn't a intimidating tension like the times she was locked in a room with Kylo. It was a good kind of tension. The kind Rey didn't know how to handle.</p><p>Without further words, Rey walked into the bedroom. She sat on the mattress as her eyes searched the room. There wasn't much left except a small table and a couple of dusty books in a shelf. For a minute, the young woman just sat there. Thinking about the past couple of hours. How they had been the most stressful yet also most wonderful ones in her life. She sighed. She was exhausted, yet her mind wasn't ready to sleep. She thought about Palpatine and his danger. About her friends on the base that were probably worried. And about Ben, who suddenly felt further away than he was.</p><p>Being overwhelmed with her thoughts, Rey took a deep breath and placed a hand on her face. She needed a minute. But even more, she needed him. Almost automatically, she now concentrated on connection. A few seconds later, she saw him through the bond on the couch. "Ben." Rey started softly. "Would you mind sleeping...here?" Rey felt her arms shaking, as she asked him to come over. What would he think? Was that weird? As Ben stayed quiet, she noticed herself getting nervous. For a second she now looked down on the floor. There was more to the question that Rey wanted to add but couldnt. She felt out of breath, like if someone had just tied her tongue. I just really have a lot on my mind right now and it would make me feel better, if you were here. She now thought through their bond. </p><p>--</p><p>Ben liked that their bond allowed them to speak to eachother through thoughts alone. It made their conversations more intimate in a way, knowing no one could know what they were saying except them. He wondered what other sort of mind melding exchanges they could share together, if they could show each other memories or even dreams.</p><p>Ben almost didn't answer Rey's question, feeling suddenly embarrassed about the topic. He had had his old saber for a while, at least for protection, but then he had gotten his Sith saber created and had no use for the old one anymore, hating it, despising it even for what it represented. His former, weak self. But now he knew how foolish he had been for casting it away, casting it and his true identity to the shadows. "It's probably in pieces at the bottom of the cliff I threw it over." He sighed, knowing that he would need to find time to find and craft a new one but that journey would have to be for another moon. He refused to use this cursed weapon now and would rather take up using his blaster. Like his father, Ben was a good shot and he was confident in using it to defend himself and Rey.</p><p>He almost blushed at Rey's compliment when he came back in the room. He wasn't that good but his dad had taught him the basics of repairing broken things around the Falcon and he remembered shadowing him as a teen watching him fix common repairs that needed making around their home. Ben was far more of a technical sort than creative aside from his love for painting. (something he hadn't done in years) He was glad he could impress Rey with that little trade though. "People think this place is cursed, being Vader's former abode." Ben told her, shrugging slightly. "It's sad, my grandfather being remembered more for his dark deeds and not the good ones he did during the Clone Wars." Ben mumbled, remembering stories Luke had told him which had been passed onto him by Ben Kenobi. Ben sometimes wished he had been able to know his namesake, but he had been killed long before he was born.</p><p>"Do you scavengers consider it not stealing if it's abandoned or is it more of a 'finders keepers, losers weepers' sort of deal?" Ben asked, curious and playful as for the first time in he didn't know how long he found himself using his hidden humor aloud. Ben was only teasing, knowing Rey wouldn't steal, not intentionally, but it was still an interesting thing to picture. Rey going about like a mouse in abandoned places picking up bits and pieces she could use for herself. It was sad in a way too, how she had to work in secret, alone, always looking over her shoulder as she tried to find scraps of food or items she could use to sale for an unfair price to whoever it was that used her for her talents. "Sorry, I know it must have been a hard life." Ben went on the apologize, not wanting to offend the young woman before smiling slightly as he watched her go off for the time being.</p><p>His smile disappeared however when he felt her presence leave, at least her physical. He could still feel their bond, passive, but it still didn't keep him from feeling suddenly very cold and alone without her here where he could see her. Turning around, Ben looked over the room, remembering just a small time before how he crept in here like a snake lying in wait for Rey to come in. Then how they fought and he still saw a few spots where their sabers had scarred a few pieces of furniture. He shuddered, trying to dispel the unwelcome memories before sitting down upon the couch, feeling suddenly very tired. He closed his eyes briefly and tried to calm the sound of his own breathing. So much had happened in the span of a dozen minutes that he was still trying to process it all.<br/>Just as he felt himself begin to find a small source of peace to be able to fall down asleep he heard it. The voice. A dreadful chill shot through him as he heard these spoken words clear inside his mind.</p><p>Ben Solo...</p><p>I know what you did.</p><p>It was the Emperor's voice and he was aware of Ben's betrayal. Trying to force up his mental walls, Ben held his head in his hands as the voice continued.<br/>You can't protect her. I will do what you couldn't. You both will die.</p><p>Ben let out a small gasp as he finally was able to cut off Palpatine's tormenting voice outside of his head but the message was delivered and the threat felt like chilling skeletal bones crawling along his flesh. He dropped his hands, gripping the firm cushion on either side of him but before he could even think about it he felt the pull of Rey and his gaze came and rested on her figure sitting down on the mattress from the other room.</p><p>He tried to shield his emotions from her, pulling a neutral face as he watched her, his fears instantly leaving him as he focused on her beautiful eyes. And then she was asking him to be with her and Ben suddenly felt very warm, his face burning suddenly as he thought about what that might mean. She wanted him to sleep... in the same bed... with her? He knew that that normally meant a very different thing than what Rey had to mean it for. But even though he knew that if she were wanting anything more than comfort he would probably be able to sense it but all he could feel from her was a steady hesitation and need. She doesn't want to be alone Ben realized and he found himself gazing at her with a new-found softness as he nodded his head to her. I'll be right there He thought to her, shutting off their connections for the time being as he stared down at his lap. The voice of the Emperor still echoed in his head but he tried to not let it affect him with fear or anger as he finally stood up and grabbed up his cloak as an after-thought before heading to the room Rey was in.</p><p>He paused at the door for only a few seconds before coming to stand in the door frame, feeling unnaturally big in this small structured house before seeing Rey sitting there on the edge of the bed. Feeling her physical presence again coated him in a warmth and safety, easing his troubled mind as he gazed at her for a few seconds, letting the tension hover between them, testing the waters, before coming to sit down next to her, their knees brushing as he sat down. "Brought this in case you might be cold." He offered, almost awkwardly as he held up the thick black fabric between them before his eyes settled on the floor, noticing the sand, finding it slightly crazy how it was everywhere on this planet.</p><p>"Um, are you ready to lie down?" He found himself asking next, automatically hearing how stupid it sounded and how she must think he was more awkward than a teenage boy coming into himself. Trying to hide his nerves, Ben brought his gaze back up to Rey as he watched her carefully, his eyes unconsciously dipping to glance at her front, wondering dimly if she always slept in her clothes. But of course, the thought was quickly thrown away as he realized that of course she would stay in her clothes now because of what they were doing. He needed to calm his thoughts, before she realized how bothered he was by them. He didn't want Rey to think he was thinking about her in that way, for fear she might not even want him to be here with her in such a private place.<br/>--</p><p>"Sound's like a Ren thing to do.", The young woman couldn't help but joke, when Ben told her about his previous saber. She wasn't surprised that Ben had disposed it, yet she still wondered what it was like. For a short moment, she debated whether to ask him. She didnt, as she realized that Ben seemed slightly uncomfortable. "It's okay.", she now tried to comfort him. "We'll figure out a way to craft you a new one." She smiled. Not that Rey knew anything about lightsaber crafting and Kyber crystals but she knew that Leia probably had a couple of tricks up her sleeve.</p><p>When Ben suddenly managed his grandfather, Rey now started to think. She tried to remember all the things she had heard about Vader. As Ben said, it mainly were bad things. She was curious to find out more about him. "I wouldn't mind hearing his story someday.", Rey answered interested. "I don't know much about him.", she added in a soft spoken voice.Their grandfathers were just another piece that tied them together. Both of them on the dark side. With their grandchildren being torn between two sides of the force.</p><p>"It's not stealing when someone left it behind", Rey answered with a slight smirk on her face. She was happy to see some of Bens previously hidden humor. He was just like his dad in that way."I mean, if they had wanted it, they could have took it.", Rey explained further, trying to justify her scavengers actions. She knew that Ben didn't judge and was joking. That being she knew it was a hard life to picture for anyone else. Surely not all aspects of it were morally right or the light side of the force, but Rey had never seen it as stealing. For her it was simply surviving. A way to life when you had nothing else left. "You'd be suprised about the things that you find, when you take a close look. For someone, a piece of metal may be nothing but junk. But i always tried to find use. I built my own speeder." And she was still proud of herself. There was no other one like it. And someday, she would go back and show Ben. "Ill show you someday." She smiled as she walked off to the bedroom.</p><p>After Ben had ended the force-bond, Rey suddenly felt her heartbeat drop close to the ground. Nervously, she bit on her lips, thinking about what to say, not nothing what to do with herself. Should she thank him for coming? Or should she just not say something at all? She sighed. This was harder than using the force. Before Rey could continue to think about how she would greet him, he already stood in the door frame. Looking at her. Rey decided to simply stay quiet. She knew that he would feel the connnection. It felt like something was burning. Like their force-bond did all the unnecessary talking for them. "Thank you.", The young woman smiled as she laid down the coat on the bed. For a moment, the two of them quietly sat there. She gazed at him as he looked down on tBhe sand. He was beautiful. And someday she would find the strength to tell him. Lost in her stare, admiring the side of his profile, Rey was surprised when Ben asked if she was ready to go to sleep. "Y-eah." She answered, waiting for him to lay down. Rey had never shared her bed with someone before - and eventhough she just genuinely wanted to sleep, it was more intimate than anything else Rey had done. Slowly she started to take off her boots and her waistbands. She also got rid off her armwraps as well as the fabric that was held by her belt. Now only wearing her tunic and pants, Rey still sat on the edge of the bed, sighing while she looked over to Ben. "It's been a long day.", She yawned, feeling the tiredness in every inch of her body as she now laid down as well. It had been a while since she had slept on a proper matress. The last time probably was on Kylo Rens ship, they only had make-shift beds back on the base. "This is quite comfortable.", Rey noted as she realized how much she had missed a good bed and how much she needed a good night day of sleep.</p><p>As the two of them quietly laid there, Rey gazed over to Ben. She couldn't believe all that had happened within the past twentyfour hours. How he went from wanting to kill her to laying right here with her. She smiled, slowly reaching her hand out to Bens. She could feel the tension between the two of them rising. Her heart skipped a beat, as she placed her hand around his. She didn't know where they would go from here, but she knew that laying right here felt better than anything else she had ever felt in her life. <br/>---<br/>Ben was slightly surprised by the way she joked so easily about his former alias, despite what she knew first-hand he had been capable of. He wasn't sure if he should feel relived or worried that she was downplaying Kylo Ren. As much as Ben wanted to believe he was finished satisfying that persona's monstrous appetite for disorder and chaos he still had a fear in the back of his mind that somehow Kylo Ren wasn't truly vanquished. The dark would always be with him, Ben knew, was it was with every person but he just hoped that he wouldn't be lured into giving into his dangerous instincts again.</p><p>He tried not to think about it any more as he heard Rey mention how she wouldn't mind hearing about Anakin's story. He smiled slightly, wanting to tell her about how he actually saw his grandfather while in the brief coma but he thought it would be better for another time. Then she had went on to explain how she found purpose for even the mundane things she found as a scavenger. He was rather impressed she had built her own transportation on Jakku. "What other talents do I not know about you?" He asked, smirking slightly before watching her leave. He looked forward to the day she showed him all her creations.</p><p>Once he was in the bedroom and he heard how her voice stumbled after his question he felt even more aware of their situation. He took his time as he undid his dark boots, putting them aside before noticing that she was removing some other parts of her attire. She reminded him of a one of those ancient burial mummies from the first worlds with how many pieces of layer she had covering her. He wondered if it served a purpose, for when she was in the heated deserts of Jakku. But whatever it was for the way she was removing them from her tanned skin was distracting for Ben.</p><p>He tried to not stare as he instead maneuvered his own body up onto the mattress, sliding backwards until he was situated left center of the bed. Ben could feel her yawn as she spoke and he wholeheartedly agreed. "I feel like a Convor going to sleep during the start of the day." He joked lightly, trying to ease the tension he could feel between them as he watched her come up to settle beside him. It felt incredibly hot all of a sudden, the night cool losing its' temperature as the sun rose steadily outside. The room was dark save for a few cracks of light that played over the side floors around the bed. Ben was glad of the shadow so it covered his expression which he knew must look quite befuddled and uneasy.</p><p>He was pleasantly surprised when he felt Rey's hand find his own and he found a lot of his tension leave him as he felt her presence closely. Ben tried to focus on their bond as he turned slightly toward her, lying on his side, his other hand under his head as he propped up slightly watching her, noting how her eyes seemed to gleam even in the darkness like a cat's. He was still bumfuzzled how any of this was even real or possible for him. How his feelings of anger and sadness could switch to such happy and peaceful emotions from the simple act of dying (though it hadn't felt very simple). Ben didn't know how long he'd been without these core attributes in his life but he hoped he didn't find out what it felt like without them for a very long time. Rey seemed to be the key that had unlocked all that he had been suppressing for so long. She had opened up his heart again and he didn't think that could ever happen for him again and though he was still afraid of having such a delicate part of himself be revealed to someone he knew that this was the start of a new chapter in his life, one where he didn't have to struggle to be who he was meant to be. He didn't have to hide Ben Solo from the world anymore, and even if the world didn't want to accept him back, he knew one person that would and she was laying right here with him.</p><p>Taking his hand from hers, Ben felt his eyes drooping but he wouldn't let sleep claim him yet as he instead found himself placing his palm against her side, his thumb brushing against the thin beige fabric as he could feel her body heat, feeling energy even from that which fueled the bond around them. He dropped his gaze to her hips, his eyes caressing her along with his hand, seeking to feel her life force under his touch as he steadily glanced back to her deep brown eyes. "I still can't believe any of this is real." He whispered, his voice heavy with unbelief as he adjusted his neck, a few strands of hair falling over his brow as he didn't pay it much mind, his thoughts so eagerly thinking of his luck (the luck he didn't really believe in). This destiny of his, where he thought it was going to lead him before (as the next dark Emperor of the galaxy) to now here simply enjoying life and the promise of a new and better future here with Rey. No, it hadn't been luck that brought him here to her, it was destiny, their destiny and he wouldn't have chosen a different outcome for the entire galaxy.</p><p>When Ben asked about Reys hidden talents, she shrugged her shoulders, slightly smirking right back at him. "Guess you'll have to find out." It was not until now that she realized, how little she really knew about Ben and how much more she still had to learn about him. What did he do before he went to the darkside? What made him smile and what were his dreams? Bens dreams. She wondered about his aspirations and goals. His childhood. His biggest fears and every little thing in between. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she knew she now had all the time in the world. From this point on, they existed together. She knew there would be many long flights and opportunities for deep conversations to come. She had never met anyone quite like Ben Solo and yet she still had a hard time believing that he thought the same about her. Ever since she was left on Jakku, she was used to being a no one. She got accustomed to being alone. Too independent to realize, that perhaps there was somebody out there for her. Someone like him.</p><p>As Ben and Rey quietly laid there, her thoughts drifted off for a moment. She thought about, what it would been like, if she didn't get to save Ben. If he would have been gone. What she'd had done. She tried to think of an answer. She couldn't. She couldn't picture a life without him. Just like she couldn't picture a life without Kylo Ren. She knew that deep down it was the reason she saved him. She was afraid of what it would be like, if he was not there anymore. Ever since the moment the two of them met, it was different. It was like she knew all along, that Kylo was just a facade. It was their destiny to be connected. And even though Rey didn't really believe in wonders, maybe this was one. And maybe it was the most beautiful one of them all.</p><p>Rey noticed Bens eyes getting heavy. She showed a slight smile, as he was trying to fight dozing off. It seemed that they were both enjoying the silence between them. Feeling the heat that ran through her body, as Ben gently moved his hands alongside her hips. Everything about his touch was electric. Something about it made her crave more. Ben was right. Nothing about this felt real. It all felt too good to be true. Still magnetized by Bens touch, she wanted to speak but didn't know what to say. What would someone answer to something like that? She didn't know. She never had to. Everything about this was new and foreign to her and yet at the same time so beautiful and exhilarating at once. "Strange..isn't it?" Rey whispered back, bringing her hand to his face, once again brushing the falling strands of hair to the side, resting her hand on his chest afterwards and for a moment her gaze wandered down to his lips. She couldn't help but wonder, what they would feel like. If he had ever kissed somebody. And if he had ever thought about someone that way.</p><p>Trying to distract herself from her thoughts (she couldn't risk Ben potentially hearing them through the force), the young woman now looked back up in his eyes. "We...should sleep.", she suggested. Not only because she was tired, but rather because she didn't know whether she was able to control her emotions or not. <br/>His eyebrows shot up somewhat when he watched Rey's retreating figure disappear from view. Was she toying with him a bit there? Maybe Ben was looking too much into details but he didn't mistake the small playful pull of her lips she'd given him. Smiling in amusement at himself, Ben turned around and thought of his father briefly, how he used to toy with his mother and how they shared certain looks. Once upon a time young Solo had little clue what those looks meant but now that he was older he was far aware of what even the slightest wink meant. To think of himself and Rey as playing those games made his heart race with adrenaline. But no, it was simply an innocent banter, he thought, shaking his head, but still, he could imagine.</p><p>Then they were there in bed, him and Rey, and those same collection of words would probably never be written on paper again. But tonight, or well, today, was a special time for both of the force sensitives. They had been through so much over the past year and the last few hours felt like a life-time of emotions alone. Ben wondered if he would even be able to calm his whirling thoughts enough to let sleep take him. But the more he laid there and looked at Rey, watching her own eyes start to get heavier and her voice soft and surreal drifting over his ears like a comforting melody, he swore he could fall asleep to anything she spoke aloud.<br/>It was strange. That was the perfect word to describe it all, Ben thought, as he shivered lightly from her brushing touch to his temple. He watched her eyes as they drifted down and he might have had more to think about if not for the vision fading from his eyes and Rey's face getting blurrier by the second. Her voice sounded like a dream away as he could only murmur something incoherently in reply, agreeing with whatever she must have said. His hand fell away from her side, landing to rest along her arm whose hand was still connected to his chest, his heart beat thumping steadily, slowing to a rhythmic pace as sleep finally overcame the young Skywalker legacy. His final thoughts as he drifted off into the pleasant nothingness was of the patient and kind young woman at his side, more connected to his heart than any life-saving force in his body. They were finally in harmony, Ben and Rey, their souls finally at peace with the other and light and dark was in balance. There could not have been a more perfect consonance between two persons in all of the worlds at that very moment. They had come so far, but still far did they have to go in order to fulfill their final destiny together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave your thoughts and comments :)</p>
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